a slice of chocolate caKE with everything on it

2007-09-02T06:10:00.000-07:00

When your feeling down and blue and it seems like the whole world is crumbling down on you...

Lighten up by lighting up! Smoking's a good way to de-stress. Well, that's what smokers say. Sometimes I wish I smoked due to this certain benefit.

Tears of Joy?

2007-08-26T09:10:00.000-07:00

I was in the process of reading two month's worth of egroup posts when I came across a post by a friend who I haven't heard from since forever. After reading this friend of mine's post, there were tears in my eyes. It dawned on me how much I love these guys (Oh yes Bugsy, I do love you so, so much) and how I super miss them. I miss each and every single one and I miss us, together as a group. And it sucks that it's so hard to gather all of us together, and it saddens me more to think that we are going to be even more dispersed globally in the coming years... Haaayyyy.

Preparing for our Lipa "Excursion"

2007-06-26T08:14:00.000-07:00

Taking a break from packing for our three-day Lipa technical work-with. Which comes off to be more of an outing rather than work (with all the chips and booze preps, the "how many tennis rackets am I going to bring" lines, and the playing cards and poker sets committed). And, it has been confirmed that the factory has no curfew. Woohoo! Our rendezvous with the Cabuyao people will most likely be pushing through then. Tagaytay, here we come! Hahaha.

This is what you call a mix between business and pleasure. Kewl. :D

Great Thinker

2007-06-21T07:54:00.000-07:00

With the many things that I had to think over in the recent past, the things that are figuratively shoved to me at this very present, and the many trepidations brought about fluctuations at this moment that affect the future, I should belong among the ranks of the world's great thinkers.

Aristotle, Machiavelli, Rosseau, here I come.

Girl's Night Out

2007-06-20T08:27:00.000-07:00

Just came from a girls' night out / dinner and kwento with CMT girls (plus boy). Had fun talking about girlie stuff! Hahaha. We missed each other a lot, and to think we kinda didn't see each other for less than three days! Pano pa kaya pag stints na???

Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock....

2007-06-19T08:16:00.001-07:00

I'm waiting... (mala-Sonic the Hedgehog delivery, hehe).

Oh, never mind. I've already had my taste of emotional wellness today. I'll go for physical wellness tomorrow then. Hehehehe.

Coffee-mates!

2007-06-18T06:58:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER: Believe it or not, this isn't shameless plugging. I just find the title appropriate for this post. :D

Nowadays, I am kind of developing the habit of inviting people (old friends, ex-officemates, college orgmates, etc.) to coffee (which is actually kind of ironic because I don't drink coffee unless necessary, i.e. when about to fall asleep in the middle of afternoon training). I just want to catch up with how everbody's doing, what's going on in their lives, and so on and so forth. And so, my persistence paid off and I was able to schedule my first "coffee-mate meeting" this afternoon.

I was able to meet up with two college friends that I haven't seen since graduation -- Chrissi and Len-len. It was nice seeing them again after a long time. Our conversation made us realize how we've changed the past year and how different the worlds we are in right now are -- with both of them in the banking sector and myself in FMCG. But it's good to know that despite the industry barrier, our talks are still the same. Fun and kulit and of course, always with some unavoidable reference to our beloved School of Econ. Because I don't know, we all agreed that Econ contributed a lot to the way we are today -- the way we analyze things, how we think, how we perceive a problem. etc. And I can feel it is still very evident even though I ended up in a very non-Econ field. And, based on experience, it is a plus.

Coffee time was fun. I shall schedule more of them soon. :D

His Ways

2007-06-14T08:29:00.000-07:00

They are mysterious indeed. Mysterious...

This day reminds me that things happen to us for a reason. Days, good or bad, unfold as they should. It is part of life's web of intricacies.

If the phone "incident" did not take place, I wouldn't have had 1) a good bonding conversation with a new friend; 2) appreciated the support, advice and guidance of two former officemates; and 3) the chance to bump into an old friend and hear what she had to say (which incidentally I was interested in hearing).

You can just feel Him work in you life. Galeng. :D

Thank you for this day.

Bow ako sa mga BOWer

2007-06-12T05:42:00.000-07:00

The title pretty much sums up this work-with day.

Okay, plus maybe a few additional details, in the form of early morning girl cramps, heat strokes, and dozing off when you're not supposed to -- which made the day a tad more colorful (I'm just not entirely sure if the colors are positive or negative) but, howell. Hahaha!

Pero astig ka talaga Mang Melchor. Sipag at Tiyaga personified. In Joj's words: "Good job, Mang Melchor!" (Okay, I'm missing them already. :c)

Key Learnings: 1) Cramps you rarely have attack when you're assigned to street vending. 2) Never say never, unless you want whatever you said never about to happen to you. 3) According to sports scientist Nikki, I shouldn't count my calories, not until I'm 30 (because I need to stock up on all the vitamins and minerals while I'm younger). 4) I am seriously loving my job. :D

Tomorrow's another sunshiny day!

Satisfying Cravings (plus a trip down memory lane...): Merienda at Hizon's

2007-06-10T06:43:00.002-07:00

Finally had my long-standing Hizon's craving satisfied. Gio and I went to Hizon's for late merienda. After ten years (+/-), I have once again tasted their famous ensaymada espesyal paired with their hot native tsokolate. The result: A very happy KE!!! Hahaha! :D I was surprised with the size of the ensaymada though. I remember it to be fuller and higher and smaller in diameter. The one they brought out was flatter and wider. The tsokolate I remember being in a bigger mug; now it's in a smaller tasa. Nevertheless, I was not disappointed. Both tasted just as I remembered them way, way back, which I find amazing! Nothing about the taste changed, even if the presentation was somehow altered. The ensaymada still had that distinct creaminess, coupled with the perfect fluff, with just the right combination of sugar and grated cheese to top it off. The tsokolate is as native as it can get, with bits of what I'm guessing to be tablea still present in the rich concoction. What I like about this drink is its unique texture -- there's this kind of grainy feeling as the liquid flows from the cup, which, for me, contributes to its charm and authenticity. Other people who like their chocolate milk chocolatey sweet might have issues about this drink, but for a dark chocolate lover like me, it's A-OK.

Revisiting Hizon's brings back fond childhood memories -- of trips with my kababatas mostly. The first time I've eaten there was with them kase, when Bianca had to have her teeth cleaned by her dentist whose clinic was in Manila (and then it immediately got dirty, due to the dark tsokolate we drank not even 30 minutes after, hehehe). And it makes me miss them a lot as well (we're now scattered all over the globe you see). Those good, old days... that I know will remain exactly as they are wherever each of us may be; like the hot chocolate and ensaymada we shared before. (senti, but true)

* By the way, I'm within my calorie count even with the sot tsokolate and ensaymada. Hehehe.

Counting Calories (WARNING: This is going to be a very KESER* post)

2007-06-08T21:33:00.003-07:00

* KESER: adjective; came from UPJMA lingo; DEFINITION: refers to something that is explained in a technical manner even though it is unnecessary

No, that isn't just a title for catchy-titlemaking's sake. I am now counting my calories. Blame it on being exposed to wellness every single day. And to caf meals that have calories per serving. And to the health and wellness seminar that Kaka (fellow wellness convertee) and I attended yesterday. But yes, I am now counting my calories. And today's the official day I start doing so.

I used to not believe in calorie counting. Ever since I decided to lose weight last year, I've been more conscious of what I eat but I never really saw it as calories and fat and all that. I just cut down on the amount I took in (which, as I have come to realize, was really, really a lot) and began to exercise regularly (thank God for jogging and jogging buddies) , which to my great delight, worked.

Unfortunately, I fell into every successful dieter's enemy: COMPLACENCY. I started working and because of that, I claimed and thought that I had less and less time to exercise (which shouldn't have been the case, darn it) and had more social events and activities, ergo more opportunities to eat out. I ended up gaining back some of the pounds I lost. And now, I have made the decision to lose all of them again.

The goal: to reach my ideal body weight for my height and level of activity. IT CAN BE DONE!!!!!

And calorie counting is going to play a part in achieving that goal of mine. That and a lot of other factors (okay, I'm looking for gym buddies. preferably officemates. let's use our facilities! hehehe). Go, go go!!!

This did not turn out to be that keser at all pala. Oh well. At least you now know what keser means. :D

I'm bored

2007-06-03T06:50:00.000-07:00

And thus this post.

I've been trying to get into blogger for over a month now and this is the only time I actually got through. So, now that I'm finally here... what to blog about... hmmm...

*****

I'm in this place in my life where I'm open to trying things I never would have thought I'd try... oh gosh, I'm getting more bored. And sleepy.

So much for an after-a-long-absence post.

Hakuna Matata what a wonderful phrase... (but rarely actualized)

2007-04-22T06:57:00.000-07:00

Ay, ayoko na pala. Pano na ito? Howell. Bahala na. Tingin ko naman di matutuloy eh (wahaha, nega). Keri lang. Let's see...

*****

Just came back from the beach! Yay! But sadly, ako lang ata ang hindi tinablan ng araw sa amin. How sad. Howell.

Potipot Island was relaxing. Napakasecluded at di pa kasi tainted ng commercialization kaya ang sarap lang tumambay at humiga sa sarong at magbasa at magbabad sa tubig. Ang tahimik e (not counting the annoying people who brought loud music which for a few minutes destroyed the serene and laid back atmosphere of the place), magandang setting pangmuni-muni. I love the seemingly "Castaways" group picture that Papa UL took of us while waiting for the sun to set. Parang authentic kase eh, hehe. People need to go to places like that every once in a while.

*****

Malinaw na. Totoo na. Go na. No turning back. :D

*****

Napagtanto ko dahil sa pagpunta sa recent trip to Zambales na:

1) Magsubscribe na sa Metro Magazine -- Wala, hooked na ako sa Metro. Favorite magazine ko na talaga ito. (Pero mejo masama pa ren ang loob ko na gagastos ako ng P120 para sa magazine. Sheesh.)

2) Gusto ko na rin ng iPod ko -- Sarap makinig sa music. Chaka parang ang fun kung abot-kamay mo lang ang iPod kung gusto mong magdrama at i-play ang soundtrack ng buhay mo. Hahaha. (Currently playing on my imaginary iPod: Love Song for No One. Hahahaha!)

3) Ang tiyaga naming gumala -- Grabe friends, totoo di ba? Commutean ito, pero keri lang, makagala lang! Hahahaha.

4) Ako ang pinakaHINDI camwhore sa amin -- I've got the least number of pictures! Kahit bilangin niyo pa! Hahaha. While ang pinakacamwhore award ay contest between lags and mags. Hahaha.

5) Magpapapayat pa ako -- Para ready to go go go to ******* na ito! (Baka mausog eh, chaka na pag sigurado na. Hahahaha.)

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I think I have actually begun to come to terms with the transition I am soon to undergo. Matagal lang talaga akong magprocess at matagal lang talagang magsink-in saken ang mga bagay-bagay in general. (Duh, may mga realization nga ako about issues two years ago na ngayon ngayon ko lang naiisip eh. Kamusta naman ang kabagalan di ba??? So this is relatively very fast.) Pero yeap, I am getting accustomed to the idea. Slowly but surely. :)

*****

Currently poring over The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Here's a line from the book that I like: Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday. Got me thinking... That, plus Arvon's RENT soundtrack (specifically the songs Another Day and Seasons of Love).

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Not all who wander are lost. -- J.R.R. Tolkien

2007-04-17T21:38:00.000-07:00

State of Mind: Congested (too much data per second)

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No periods yet. Ellipses yes, but not periods.

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I just realized that I've recently done something I never would have thought I'd do... and it's actually FUN. :D Exciting even, the 'bahala na si Batman' kind of thrill and anticipation. I should be doing this more often. Ang boring ren kase pag lagi na lang planado at napag-isipan ang lahat ng bagay. Sabi nga sa Blink (Malcolm Gladwell ata), we have to thin slice and only pay attention to the most important details and issues kase we make decisions faster and better that way. Sana nga totoo yun di ba? Hehe.

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I love Cebu Pacific! Palawan, here we come! Whee!!!! :D

2007-04-14T23:21:00.000-07:00

What does one do when one knows that time is almost up?

ANSWER: Cherish every moment. Make the most of time left. Instead of dreading the end, make sure that each remaining day is maximized and lived to the fullest.

It's sad sometimes. One only gets to appreciate what one has only when it will soon be taken away from you.

What's with the Hold Up???

2007-04-10T21:33:00.001-07:00

I am not sure what the answer to that question is but what's certain is it's hard to let go. Especially of things that are up to your control letting go of. It doesn't have to be a happy thing or a memorable experience... it can even be unpleasant. The thing is letting go is never easy. Period. I now kinda get why certain people find it difficult to get out of abusive relationships. And what I am in right now is certainly far from something bad like that. It's okay... Honestly, I already have an affinity to it, as opposed to when I started. Which sort of complicates matters. Although I know that the only person complicating matters is myself and my cowardice of moving on and up and towards the direction I think I want to head for. When you're all cozy and at home with your dvds and lots of chocolate, isn't it quite a hassle drag your butt off the couch, dress up and go on a blind date with someone that you think you might like and that you even had your friend set you up with? What, with being unsure if you're going to click and have fun or it'll just be a waste of your time?

So... that's it. I have settled and established a comfort zone. And frankly, I'm scared. Of what? Of realizing in the end that I should never have left in the first place.

I seriously have to resolve this ASAP.

2007-03-26T08:06:00.000-07:00

Someone please save me from the weight of it all. I am getting tired of bearing the world on my shoulders.

My Atlas, where are you?

2007-03-25T21:39:00.000-07:00

First and foremost...

Maggie! Congratulations for getting into the UP Econ MA Program!!!! Sabi sayo magiging okay eh! :D

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I want to hit the beach! Gosh, it's already the end of March and I still haven't felt the coolness of fine, white sand on my feet. My family isn't up to going to beaches (I know, KJ. They prefer cooler areas and swimming pools.) so friends, you're my only hope!

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When people are chronic liars, are they considered sick or mentally incapacitated? Is irresponsibility a disease? I am kind of hoping that the answers to both my questions are yeses. That makes it more logical and thus, acceptable. But of course, if they are ailments, I suppose they can still be treated, right?

Coffee Bean Convert

2007-03-25T04:44:00.000-07:00

I am a convert. No longer do I find coffee shops as over-priced and overrated alternatives to instant 3-in-1s. I have gone through some kind of metanoia regarding them, comparable to Saul on the way to Damascus (oh yeah, my roots are showing). But on this road, I didn't fall off a donkey. Instead, I was (unwittingly) lead into the double glass doors of Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and into the light by a trusted, and at that time, stressed friend. I told her I don't drink coffee. Fine, try tea then. So, okay, I did. One Chai Tea Latte, Large. And gosh it was sooooooo good, I was caught off guard. I never thought I would like it that much. I literally felt relaxation seeping into my system with every sip of that hot, frothy, concoction. I found myself leaning back and settling myself into the shop's oversized couch, ready to savor my latte one small, rejuvenating sip at a time. Aaaahhhhhhhh..... Hmmmm. I have found my happy place. :D

2007-02-22T04:36:00.001-08:00

I am loving the people who started P2P and Steve Jobs for his iTunes and the advent of internet technology and Multiply. I've downloaded the Music and Lyrics OST! Yay! High EQness! I've actually listened to Way Back into Love - Demo Version for more than 20 times today, hahaha. :D

2007-02-17T07:42:00.000-08:00

Way Back into Love has been intermittently playing inside my head since Wednesday night. Loved Music and Lyrics! Funny with intelligent hirits + Hugh Grant (whee!) + Drew Barrymore (prettinesss!) + the sweetest songs = Great Romantic Comedy! I want to watch it again. And i want to have POP! as my cellphone's ringtone. Hahaha.

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The Law of Supply and Demand says that supply follows demand. There is huge demand for quality guys. How come they seem to be really scarce? Economist friends, kindly answer this question please.

*****

I have a new resto on my favorites list. Cafe Juanita in Brgy. Kapitolyo, Pasig. Nice, quaint place with VERY GOOD food (Beef Rendang = Uber Delicioso!!! Pasta Filipina too!). Homey and ecclectic; very colorful. Perfect place to hang out. A bit pricey but with the ambiance and the food, it's worth the premium. Hay... I love discovering new places to dine in. And eat there with people I love (Bugsy! Mwah, mwah! An extra MWAH for Crisel for her Cafe Juanita rendition of IKAW. Hahaha.)

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I am still intrigued. What does White Shark taste like? Tara Ish, let's find out soon! Hehehe...

Marriage Out of Wedlock

2007-02-12T03:59:00.001-08:00

I'm in the middle of making a quotation and I stop. I suddenly think along the existential lines and ask why I am doing what I am currently doing. Do I even like what I am doing? Do i find fulfillment in it?

In college I used to spend most of my time in school, even Saturdays and Sundays. But back then I was sure I liked what I was doing. No, it wasn't even like... it was LOVE. I had a purpose and I consciously chose to pursue it. I remember 'it" fueling me everyday, the drive enabling me to accomplish things I never thought I could get done.

Now, as I type away in front of this computer screen which has been witness to my days, and nights, and even weekends at times (seriously my dear PC set, even if you are just a bunch of inanimate objects, I thank you for being ever-functional), I feel numb. To stress. To pressure. To unreasonable demands. To questionable actions. To social interactions (or lack thereof). To frustrations. To commitments. To them all.

Why do I do what I'm currently doing? Because it is what I've committed myself to do at this point in time. And commitments must be kept. You have to make it work, no matter what.

2007-01-27T23:51:00.000-08:00

I want to move out.
Have my own place. A room or a pad or something.
Somewhere new and far from all inaccurate preconceived notions that resurface everytime tempers rise or hormones rage.
There'll be no food prepared and laundry won't be done unless I do it myself but I think that's a small price to pay in order to regain self-worth, right?
Pasok sa isang tenga, labas sa kabila... hanggang saan kaya ang threshold ko? Hmmm...

Monosyllabic Girl

2007-01-15T07:35:00.000-08:00

Monosyllabic Girl. That is my superhero name. I have the ability to blurt out monosyllabic answers in reply to any remark you make. My instincts, very much advanced as compared to the normal female, react to your presence by activating my automatic freeze-up system -- disabling coherent thought currents, creating an effect in me that may be likened to Piper Haliwell's time-stopping power. My super sonic hearing and 360-degree eyesight make picking up information about you with a velocity faster than that of a speeding bullet...

With great power comes great liability. Sheesh.

... It's not easy to be me....

Instances Undefined

2007-01-14T06:14:00.000-08:00

There are thousands of words in the English language that may be used to accurately, specifically and colorfully describe different kinds of situations encountered by humans in their interaction with one another, yet there remain to be instances, moments that even a wide array of words cannot capture. So what happens is these situations remain as they are, just things that happen but cannot be properly explained... just emotions felt but are just left there, hanging loosely about in the air around, air that appears to be charged with something like joy and contentment... but then again, after being in the midst of all that, you're never quite sure. And at the rate things have been going, you never will be. They say actions speak louder than words. Up to some point they are right. But what they left out of that well-known line is this one fact: Actions may speak louder than words, yes. But however "loud" they may get, they don't say it all. Words will definitely have to come into play, to set things straight, to confirm, to assure and reassure... to complete. And until that time comes, one is left to appreciate those undefined moments for what they are -- brief interactions that linger with you and then after a while forget about... until the next instance.

Deep in Middlesex 1

2007-01-13T00:20:00.000-08:00

The answer to that very malicious question in your mind right now dear reader is a big, bold NO.

But the the title is effective for its intriguing qualities, right?

To those who would like to know (and to those who'd rather not but are still reading on and technically made the choice to know), I am currently absorbed in reading Middlesex -- Pulitzer Prize winner, authored by Jeffrey Eugenides, and gift-of-dear-Santa Friend Desh to moi last Christmas. And it is partly the reason why I sound like this. Because Eugenides is brilliant (which has been my YM status more than once the past month) and because his writing style jives compatibly with mine. Which brings me to this post. And to the realization that I have once again broken a promise to my dear bloggie baby. The new year has started and it is just my first post.

Who is to blame? Or, to excuse myself from the inaction, what is? I'd like to enumerate a few culprits: 1) the HOLIDAYS, and all the frenzy and parties and activities that come with it; 2) the EARTHQUAKE in TAIWAN -- which left internet cafes (which I actually went to in order to blog but became a disappointment) with super slow and at times ZERO connections; and 3) the ************ -- which I cannot mention since I'd be in effect admitting to something that shouldn't be done in that place and may put my future in jeopardy (hahahaha).

In the brief interval of a fortnight, my life's lease had been extended. Forgive the drama. You're listening to someone who thought her rollercoaster-riding days were over but has just been proclaimed to be in possession of an exceedingly healthy heart! The slow heart rate finding really worried me. But thank God that's okay. Now I can push through with this year's plans.

For I have mentally listed some things that I want to accomplish within the year...

Kainan, Kwentuhan, Kulitan, at Quote-an sa Kaarawan

2007-01-03T14:28:00.000-08:00

Una sa lahat... HAPPY BIRTHDAY ULI TIDOY!!!!! Yehey!

*****

Quotable Quotes:

I.

I don't care about his heart!

(for guys in general, referring to a particular *toot*)

II.

Chill lang, chill.

(pertaining to the taong-grasa philosophy that should be imbibed especially when one is stressed. in fairness, it actually makes sense. hehehe.)

III.

Pagkatapos ba naman ng nangyare dun sa isa nilang kasama, shempre self-defense na yun!

(in response sa katanungang sa tingin niyo ba self-defense talaga yung nangyare sa Tony Leviste incident)

IV.

" ____________(fill in the blanks).... basta magbayad kayo ng buwis!"

(be all and end all ni NEDA girl na may personal mission na hanapin kung sinu-sino ba talaga yung 85% na hindi nagbabayad ng buwis sa Pilipinas)

V.

Gusto ko ng trabaho na hindi ako mag-iisip.

(MA student, researcher, proposal-maker, and above all else, faxing professional)

*****

Ngayon pa lang buo na ang linggo ko. :D

The 3am Nacho Substitute

2006-12-26T10:43:00.000-08:00

It's almost 3 am and I'm currently enjoying Dana's salsa-nacho-cracker creation (she's satisfying her nacho craving). Oh yes, I'm here at her place. One of my usual emergency sleepovers, haha. And we're still up because we're watching Love Actually in a while (It IS Christmas :D).

And to my blog, a belated Merry Christmas to you. Sorry for the neglect the past month or so... as much as I'd want to, I just didn't have the time to chronicle every outburst or brilliant hirit moment. But I promise to post a before-the-year-ends post to summarize 2006 and its milestones (whoo, that would be interesting...:D)

...Hmm... you know that feeling wherein you know that there are a lot of things running through your head and you're trying to find the words to express them but you don't? Right now, that's personified by me, here, blogging. Sometimes there are certain things that even blogging can't squeeze out of me...

The Downside of Looking through Rose-Colored Glasses

2006-11-22T20:18:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking of a fitting intro for this post and I find myself at a loss for complete sentences. I say complete sentences because I just had one word in mind when I thought of this post's title : DISAPPOINTMENT.

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It sucks when people let you down over and over and over and over and over (to infinity) again. It's not actually the fact that you get let down by that person that hurts the most. It's the hoping part that drives the knife down deep. The hope that builds up in you that this time around it's going to be really true... that believing wouldn't end up in empty promises and false hopes.

*****

Happiness is elusive. -- My current YM status.

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What does one do when things fall apart (Hi Mr. Achebe, may I borrow your book title?) and you feel like you're left with nothing you desperately like to hold on to?

*****

I'm floating supine in Lake Caliraya, with seaweeds constantly brushing against my body.

Sarah would know how that feels like. I don't know how to more accurately describe the feeling, but it is like that.

2006-11-19T20:40:00.000-08:00

I don't know what my reaction to such information is supposed to be like. I think I'm supposed to be heartbroken. But then again not yet... not until it's 100% sure.

I guess I'll be holding my breath till later.

Quickie

2006-11-13T20:59:00.000-08:00

This will be a very, very quick post and it is just for the sake of posting.

I just wish that hoping for something this bad and thinking about it every minute of everyday and visualizing it happening and even acclimatizing yourself to what will be happening if it is thus granted is enough to make it happen. I really wish that. I really do.

Wake Up, Little KE, Wake Up

2006-10-27T20:07:00.000-07:00

Yawn. (And imagine a series of upper-limb stretching while doing so)

Blogging again after more than a month's time of not even visiting my own blog site feels like waking up from deep sleep -- the type wherein you have no dreams, and when you wake up, you really feel refreshed and recharged that you happily get on doing the things you have to do or, lacking a planned itinerary, you go on making a list of things to do for the day and you go them with the zeal of an energizer bunny. Actually, that would acurately descibe my disposition waking up this morning. :D

But of course, I have not been literally sleeping for one month (though there are times that I wish I did). I just seem to a) find no time to visit this beloved virtual nook of mine, which is ironic since I'm online the whole day during weekdays, though it's more because of b) my unwillingness to stay inside the internet shop with all the noisy, Ragnarok-playing boys (oh, the sadness of unlimited home internet access being cut). There is lack of presence here but I assure you, I do think about blogging all the time. I don't know if other bloggers out there find themselves in the same situation, but I usually catch myself having a sudden infusion of possible post topics and composing blogposts in my head. Topics range from trivial, to somber, to political, to giddy, to socially important, to scientific, to IT-related, to literature... you get the picture. And these "blogbulb moments" come at the randomest of places and times (think in the middle of crossing the Shaw-Edsa intersection). So you see, I never really stopped blogging. I just didn't have the opportunity to put it down on webpaper .

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Recently, I woke up one morning wanting to write. Not just write like here in this blog or on a piece of paper with a pen. I want to write WRITE. I want people who don't know me personally to read what I've written. I want to be PUBLISHED.

A short while after that enlightenment, my skepticism about Paulo Coehlo's famous line from THE ALCHEMIST was shaken. Perhaps the universe indeed conspires towards what one really desires to accomplish... and add on other good stuff as well.

I'm excited. Let's wait and see what happens... :D

Halfway Home

2006-09-24T00:02:00.000-07:00

Actually, three-fourths way home would be more appropriate.

Currently in Changi Airport, waiting for 5:10 pm connecting flight to Manila. Also currently loving the said airport's facilities and consequently feeling sorry about old NAIA's.

I've been exposed to the gap between developed and developing for more than a week... and it really is quite sad. How come a country as beautiful and as rich in natural resources such as ours remains so backward? Well, I've known the answer to that for a long time and it sucks that it hasn't been remedied. But what sucks even more is that other countries with much less made the most of what they had and have so much more. Very good for them, of course. But what that does say of us, as a nation? Are we not talented enough to dig gold out of a gold mine? Again, it is not the lack of skill that hinders us to grow for I believe that we are indeed a very talented people. It is the lack of a THE RIGHT MINDSET.

Case in point: Singapore. In the 1950's, then prime minister Lee Kuan Yew tasked his staff to travel to the neighboring ASEAN countries to see what these countries didn't have. When they got back, the ministers reported: "They have a lot of natural resources and beautiful places there but they lacked DISCIPLINE." And so Lee Kuan Yew decided to capitalize on his neighbors' weakness and made it his country's competitive advantage. What Singapore lacked in resource it compensated for in discipline. It took years but their discipline paid off. They made the best out of the little that was given them. They made lemonade out of lemons... and even all the other stuff that could be made out of lemons!

I could just imagine how far we'd go if only there'd be enough Filipinos responsible enough to care about the welfare of the country in general... And if there were leaders committed enough to bring this country of ours towards its full potential. It surely will not be easy, with traditional politics at its dirtiest and the majority of the nation, sadly, trapped in a cramp societal outlook, a big stumbling block, an anvil that weighs us down and keeps us down. Add the typical Dela Cruz's lack of understanding of what is actually happening (though they are not at fault for this and I do not intend to judge) and the resulting inadequacy or inability of supplying the right solutions to different problems and we are just at the tip of a swelling iceberg.

I have fortunately been acquainted to and am good friends with a number of young people who, despite all the disappointments and the let-downs and the crap that they have been exposed to, still believe in making an indelible difference to this country and are on their way to doing so. I would like to do that as well, in my own way. As for you guys, you know who you are. Good luck! I hope that your, our idealism doesn't wane in the long run, that it stands all the tests that it will go through along the way... It has to be kept alive if we want to see a prosperous Philippines in our iifetime.

Kindred Spirits

2006-09-12T21:53:00.000-07:00

It is a relief to know that you are not alone in thinking some not-so happy thoughts. And that it is okay to think them still, even if they're not-so happy.

*****

Watched The Devil Wears Prada yesterday with newfound New York buddies but long-time friends. Honestly, the movie was just so-so. But the clothes and the shoes were FABULOUS!!! I was literally ogling at the all the beautiful, beautiful shoes and bags and dresses... Can't wait for the time that I can afford Manolos! And to our New York trip in five years' time! :D

In a place that's not-so good

2006-09-10T08:45:00.000-07:00

There's this certain "place" I'm currently in, a place in the psyche that I had sort of mapped out inside my head. It may be compared to limbo, only that in limbo there is only uncertainty. But in this place I'm talking about, there is also discontent.

On relatively good days, I just go on about them, doing the things that I have to do, minding them ever so happily even. But when bad days strike, I feel like gutting myself inside out. A bit too harsh, isn't it? But that's exactly how I feel.

A mental debate has been going on in my mind for the longest time, with the motion of to accept or not to accept? It's kinda weird because I'm the only person running the tournament. I give out the pros and cons for the government; I give out the pros and cons for the opposition. And I even end up adjudicating -- URGH. And so you get why the mental debate has been going on and on and on...

Cryptic, tsk, tsk... It's unintentional. It's just how I think. In similes and metaphors and allusions... jumping from one idea to another like a small green frog leaping from one waterlily to another, splashing water while doing so. That's why I'm glad to have friends who know me well... who know me better than myself at times even. Because it's hard to explain things coming from a though structure like mine.

And so another blog entry comes to an end... and as most of my blog entries go, they end unresolved. That's why I go for abrupt endings.

THE END

Iba na talaga pag in-love ang kausap, pati post ko naiiba ang laman eh...

2006-09-03T08:31:00.000-07:00

Okay, I was supposed to post about a very high EQ thing that happened to me today but that high EQ event was overshadowed by what is currently happening at this very moment. I am in a YM conversation with someone who is sharing with me the current status of his lovelife... but that's not the point. The point is THE PERSON sharing his lovelife stuff with me. As in WHOA. Out of the blue, we don't even really talk, then you tell me about your lovelife? Well, I'm always open to listening to other people of course... I'm still just.... SO SURPRISED that this person is telling me about all this. As in WHOA talaga. Although, like I said, I don't mind... I'm actually kinda flattered, hehe. Nakakatuwa ren, di ko inakalang malalaman ko na nagkakaganyan na sha... at na SIYA PA MISMO ANG NAGSASABI SAKEN! Hahaha! Kewl.

Oh, you're so, so, so cute!!! In fairness, I'm really flattered. :D And yes, I'm still listening so kwento ka lang. :D

*****

I super missed ecosoc! And taskforce! Galing akong MUSIKAPELLA at ang saya-saya! Grabe, I missed the people talaga.... Hanggang ngayon at home na at home pa ren ako kapag sila-sila ang kasama ko... Like I'm amidst friends... family. :D Buti na lang pumunta ako. At, sold out, standing room only ito! Ang galing-galing! Congrats Jules! Congrats ECOSOC Taskforce! Yay!

*****

This has been an up-up day on the EQ scale. But when you realize that what made you FEEL the most about the day is a just a certain look and brief physical contact, it's just ironic. And anti-climatic. From an outsider's perspective, true. But from where I'm standing, it makes a lot of sense.

The moments. They're what really count. Thank you for that one, overwhelming moment. It's subdued quality beat the hell out of all the ecstatic hugs and hurrahs.

A Stilleto Story

2006-09-01T10:03:00.000-07:00

I WANT THOSE THREE-INCH STILLETOS!!! :O

There, I've vented it out. Just came from the much-awaited (by me) Glorietta Midnight Madness Sale. I already alloted part of my salary (yessss, sweldo ito. hahaha.) to shop for shoes and yet I come home empty-handed. It is just so difficult for me to find shoes that fit me perfectly. And by the perfect fit I not only pertain to shoe size but to my budget line as well. Locally-made shoes' biggest sizes don't fit me (the ones that do aren't pretty so nevermind). The imported ones on the other hand are way over the budget of a probationary employee. Thus, I end up with nothing. NOTHING. And to think that shopping in the evening was enough to keep me energetic the entire day. Tsk, tsk.

But then again I told myself (and the sales lady who assisted me) that I'll pass by again tomorrow... and if they're still there, we're meant to be. As it turns out, those were the last pair of my size. So in the end, fate shall be the one to decide...

I am quite torn actually. I WANT those black, sling-back, killer shoe stilletos but I know that they're not what you could call "sensible" shoes. But I want them. I SHOULD buy sensible shoes, since I commute all the time. But sensible shoes have a tendency to be BORING (and in my case, a bit too pricey) whereas this certain pair of stilletos come at a premium yet still fairly reasonable price (since it's very pretty)... And that is why I'm letting fate have the final say on this one.

On Seizing the Day

2006-08-27T02:43:00.002-07:00

I never really fathomed the importance of the popular French phrase Carpe Diem. It was just a fanous line from the Dead Poets Society for me until recently.

Why does everyone say that each of us should seize the day?

That's simple.

Because it is the only way to truly live because when you seriously think about it, a day is all that we really have.

Bundat :o

2006-08-21T04:52:00.000-07:00

Birthday ng tita ko today. At sa amin, pag may birthday, isang buong araw ng walang humpay na kainan yan. Miyat-miyang kain mehn. Literally. Kaya mamaya pa akong 12 midnight or past that matutulog... baka bangungutin ako eh. :O

*****

Sa tagal ko na di nagpost at dahil ang dalawang recent kong post ay puro "nakaw" na post lang (dahil illegal ito, haha), nakalimutan ko nang ilagay dito yung mga bagay na naisip kong karapat-dapat iblog. Ililista ko na lang siguro. Hmm...

1) Congrats to DANA for topping the Occupational Therapy Board Exams!!! Woohoo to you! At di ka pa natapos mag-aral niyan, noh? Kamusta ka naman, di ba?! :D

2) Congrats to TONETTE dahil nasama ang pelikula niya sa isang international film festival!!! Astig ka talaga tonet. Kung paborito mong direktor si Joyce Bernal, ikaw naman ang akin. Hehe. At paborito ko ring mga pelikula ang 'Plano at ang Pink Ranger Akin Ka Lang na mga anim na beses ko atang napanood sa isang upuan, haha. (Uy, pengeng kopya ng mga yun, please?)

3) ANG GANDA NG GREY'S ANATOMY!!!!!!!!!!! It's official. Favorite drama series ko na na yan to date! Minarathon ko lang ang season two recently at inuulit ko na shang panoorin ngayon, hahaha! Fan! I love something about all the characters! Ang galing-galing. Sana masustain hanggang next seasons. Pati yung hotness ng Grey's Guys sana masustain! Hahaha! McSteamy, McVet, Burke and og course McDreamy!!!! Can't wait for season 3!!!

4) I love Friday night gimiks with friends! :D Greenbelt is Yuppieland every friday. Mae! I loved seeing you nung friday!

5) Cheers to the new blog I'm reading!

*****

Katatanong lang saken ng kapatid kong Grade 6 na nag-aaral ngayon para sa exam niya tomorrow kung ano ang nangyareng significant nung July 24.

Ang sagot ko: Ipinanganak ang crush ko.

War pala ng Israel at Lebanon ang tamang sagot. Hehehe.

Lightbulb Moment

2006-08-16T21:45:00.000-07:00

This is about sudden, brilliant realizations that came about through seemingly trivial things.

In this case, choc nuts and mami (bulalo and batchoy flavored).

*****

If you're a chocoholic and you decide to satisfy your chocolate craving by buying a pack of the classic choc nut, make sure that there are a lot of people there with you to share it with. Or else you'll end up with a sore throat the next day. (Go figure. Oo na, ang takaw ko na.)

*****

Nabitin nanaman ako magmarathon ng Grey's Anatomy kagabi, kamusta naman?! There's a long weekend ahead ren naman... whoo, marathon!

*****

I realized I don't find it hard to get used to new environments. A blessing actually.

*****

My thoughts are choppy. And jumpy. And incoherent. I don't like Anne Rice's writing style. I tried reading Pandora last night and I got bored.

2006-08-15T23:52:00.000-07:00

Oh, crap.

So much for a high-impact, welcome-back-to-the-blogging world first sentence after a loooonnngggg period of absence.

But yeah, I'm back. And I am technically a fugitive. Cyberloafing is a crime punishable by a day's suspension where I'm working.

Ah, yes. I'm already working. Not at this moment because I'm taking a much needed break. I have successfully resisted blogging here at work for the past seven days. I'm no longer resisting.

I'm sleepy.

And in need of sweet stuff. Give me some now please? Pretty please? Max's caramel bars. Chocnut. Samba. Mister Donut Tortes. Go Nuts Donuts. Flat Tops. Yema. Chocolate Cake. Cheescake. Ginugutom ko sarili ko.

Still sleepy though.

Movie Line (edited)

2006-08-02T09:06:00.000-07:00

"A woman is never late... because she is worth waiting for."

-- From Playing House (Star Movies)

*So Jham, alam mo na, may maganda ka nang linya pag late ka... pero gamitin lang yan pag lalake ang naghihintay sayo. Kase ganun ang paggamit sa kanya sa pelikulang pinagkunan niyan at kung gagamitin mo yan sa amin, di ren naman eepekto! :P

*At boys, in fairness, magandang pogi-points line yan kapag late ang ka-date ninyo at nagsorry sha sa inyo dahil late sha! Oha, naks di ba?! ;p

*****

The guy lead in Playing House reminded me of my favorite Hollywood guy of the moment (though they don't look alike at all which, come to think of it, brings me to the conclusion that the association between the two is mainly due to their gender... and I am rambling, which I blame on The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the book I am poring over right now which is basically a collection of rambles that are scientific and at the same time philosophical in nature. STOP!), WENTWORTH MILLER!!! And, I'll share him with you! Hahahaha! ENJOY!

* I was supposed to post a picture of him here but blogger's dysfunctional. Oh well...

* Kamusta ka naman Wentworth, Princeton grad ka pala... SUPER CRUSH!!! Para kang lalakeng Natalie Portman! Astig ka! Crush kita!

2006-07-28T03:12:00.000-07:00

Realization: Whenever I experience emotional episodes or situations that may be well classified as such, I go and do the following:

1) Go to Church to pray.

2) Go to friends to just be with them... and oh, okay, to make kwento whatever it is that's causing the particular emotional episode.

3) Go online and blog.

For guidance and comfort.
To calm the heart and the nerves. And to warm them as well.
To seek clarity of thought. To seek more thoughts.
To rant and to rave and to ramble and to resonate.

To do exactly what I am doing right now.

And for being able to do all the above-mentioned, I am reminded of all the good that I have in my life and that no matter how shitty the world may seem through the scratched lenses of the gray-colored glasses I am currently wearing, I am definitely and most absolutely blessed.

2006-07-25T09:36:00.000-07:00

From "The One Where Phoebe Proposes" (or whatever the real title of that episode is since I made this one up)

*****

Phoebe and Mike in a restaurant. Mike just proposed.

MIKE: I love you.

PHOEBE: I love you more.

MIKE: Not possible.

Mike kisses Phoebe.

*****

Oh, I so love FRIENDS. :D

Stormy, Stormy Night...

2006-07-25T06:59:00.000-07:00

And so it is raining non-stop again. Days like this I'm thankful I'm still jobless. It's just so wonderful sleeping til late in the morning, snuggled warmly underneath my soft blanket when it's cold and wet outside. Oh I can just imagine commuting in the middle of a heavy downpour in full corporate attire! My poor heels! Destroyed by the rainwater flowing along the streets I have to cross in order to get to where I have to go.

Oh but of course I'd rather have a job. Just looking at the good side of everything. :D

JULIAN IN MANILA!!!!

2006-07-18T03:14:00.000-07:00

OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!!!

Can't help it. Kinikilig talaga ako! Wahahahaha! But no, nalungkot na lang ako kanina nang malaman kong sa July 22 sha sa WOWOWEE, at ako ay may job interview thing nun!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! :( First time ko pa man din sanang mangstalk ng celebrity... Sabi ko pa man din sasali ako sa lahat ng Meet and Greet contest for that para lang mameet sha... pero di ko na magagawa yun... haaayyyyy... I'm so sad, so sad.

2006-07-13T19:31:00.000-07:00

You've been waiting for the bubble to burst and at that pivotal moment say what for years has been stuffed shut and sealed inside of you and yet when the time finally comes you end up not saying much and crying silently instead. Not that you don't want to say anything. Of course you do. Speaking just didn't feel appropriate at that point. Listening did. And trying to digest in just 30 minutes or so a lifetime of bad memories, bad decisions, and bad lies required for you to listen. With an open mind an an open heart. And at the end of it all, to welcome the open arms stretched in an effort to reach out for you...

... And you realize that IT IS a two-way street. That things ended up the way they did because people allowed them to. And part of those people is someone. YOU. And as all the facts slowly sink in, you wonder how this will all turn out...

But at least you were right. It really wasn't like this before. Happy thoughts of yesterday would remain untarnished. They would remain happy thoughts and thus something good to hold on to. And at a point like this, it is not just a something. It is everything.

Now that everything's out in the open, one can only hope. For real change. For the best. And again one sets himself out, vulnerable once more to the possibility of an even deeper disappointment this time around. But what else can one do? All the clutter of negatives doesn't change the very fiber of it all, they just obscure them. And after weeding them out, you are reacquainted with nothing but the overwhelming simplicity of its essence, that remains pure and good and untainted, the essence that holds the courage for people to stand up after stumbling and hitting rock bottom, that spark inside that embraces only what is right and impels one to seek it. It, too, is the same essence that transforms hate back into its antonym.

God does answer prayers. He has recently very blatantly answered two of my most fervent ones. But I learned that even if God does answer prayers, in the end one is still left with the choice. It is still up to you to make it work, to follow through. I didn't follow through the first one (which is fine and in retrospect I think will be beneficial in the long run -- but that's a different blog entry altogether). This second one definitely needs following through... and I am certainly going to give it what it needs.

This deserves a blog entry

2006-07-08T07:27:00.000-07:00

Refreshing, light, feel good moments deserve a blog entry of their own. :D

* Hi Des! Hi Jules! ;p

In the Middle of a Poker Game

2006-07-02T06:54:00.000-07:00

I told myself I wouldn't blog this weekend. Topak lang. Topak caused by a string of events that happened sooo fast, I'm actually questioning my memory if they indeed took place. But of course, I have to blog, since the laptop's available and it it took me 45 minutes to figure out the right password in order to connect to the net. Sayang naman ang 45 minutes if I didn't blog. And besides, I have to write regularly or else I'll get rusty. That's why I'm blogging.

*****

I am super happy for two of my friends right now! :D One acknowledged the feeling and finally did something about it. The other one's feelings formally got acknowledged (at last!). Yay for you both!

*****

Right now, it feels like I'm in the middle of a poker game and its time to decide whether to fold or raise the odds by a big amount of chips... and all that I have to aid me in making that decision are 1) a not-so thorough background in probability; and 2) pure gut feel.

So what they say is true. Gambling's a whole new ball game when there's a lot at stake. One mistake, you lose a lot. But then again, one good call wins it all back.

I'm almost bankrupt. That lucky break is very much welcome.

Anong gusto mo maging pag laki mo???

2006-06-25T08:11:00.000-07:00

Noong bata ako ang naaalala kong unang sagot ko dyan sa tanong na yan ay ARCHAEOLOGIST. O di ba?! Bata palang nerdox na! Hahaha. (di ako nerd pala pipol, baka lang magassume kayo na ganun nga ako. mabasa lang akong tao. hehe). Yan ay pagkatapos kong mabasa ang Children's Encyclopedia Volume 1. Sumunod dyan, gusto ko namang maging ASTRONAUT (pramis, di talaga ako nerdox. maniwala kayo sa akin!). Yan ay matapos kong mabasa ang Children's Encyclopedia Volume 6. Pre-school ako niyan.

Grade School time naman. Ginusto ko maging TEACHER -- yan ay pagkatapos kong magkaroon ng napakabait at napakagaling na guro sa katauhan ni Teacher Nel (hi teacher Nel! sana mabasa mo ito!). Tapos, for two weeks, ginusto ko maging LAWYER. Ito, di ko alam kung pagkatapos ng ano ko napagdesisyunan. Basta, bigla na lang, isang araw, naisip kong maging lawyer. Yun na yun. Kaya siguro bigla-bigla ren ang pagka-unthink ko sa pagiging ganun.

Nung hayskul ko naman napagtanto na gusto ko maging DOKTOR. Dahil ba ito sa second-year bio class? Hmm... maaari mo na ring masabing ganun. Kase kaya ko naman napanood ang movie ni Hugh Grant na Extreme Measures nung gabi/umagang yun ay dahil hindi ako natulog dahil nag-aaral ako para sa bio finals eh. At pagkatapos kong mapanood yung pelikulang yun, ginusto ko nang maging NEUROSURGEON.

Nung college ako, aba ang galing ko. Di ko inisip kung anung gusto ko maging. E ngayon, tapos na ako, may nagtatanong nanaman kung anu nga ba ang gusto ko maging pag laki ko...

Kailangan ko na malalaman yan in two days time. Kaya tanungin niyo uli ako after two days. Buti na lang di ako contestant sa Little Miss Philippines, kundi baka nagcommercial na't lahat wala pa rin akong maisagot sa tanong na yan. Tito, Vic, and Joey, in two days po masasagot ko na yan. Pramis.

The One with the 100th

2006-06-22T08:44:00.000-07:00

Trying to make it sound like a title from an episode of FRIENDS.

Up until I began thinking about blogging today, I always thought that my momentuous 100th post would be jovial. But no, it was lucky enough to fall on a relatively bad day. Okay, I won't blame the day. Sorry day, you are not at fault here. You're just convenient to blame.

My chocoholicsm is kicking in. Ate four brownie fudge cookies already. Ready to down three more. So much for jogging today.

I want to read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone again.

And hug my favorite pillow.

Thank God for comfort stuff. And for Donald and Des who are my favorite people right now.

I am looking forward to a better day in dreamland.

On Grey's Blog

2006-06-18T01:36:00.000-07:00

Having a lot of free me time and net time led me to the website of one of the shows that has recently made it to my favorites list: Grey's Anatomy. Maggie told me about the blog that the episode writers' of Grey's keep updated and started reading... and I got hooked! I am halfway through reading the episode blog entries in chronological order, only backwards, and I get more excited about watching season 2 after every entry.

Oh, I love great writers. I love the way the writers of the show analyze every little thing they incorporate into it, of trying to create the perfect story and the perfect mix of cases to mirror the feelings and the emotions that the characters have. I love the way they could act like gods, in the sense that they can make a character do whatever they want him/her to do but still remain human and faithful to what should happen and not what one wants to happen. Because they're something like "parents" to the characters -- they don't want to see their characters get hurt (because they get hurt too) but they allow them to since they know that if they don't, they wouldn't learn; they wouldn't grow.

One episode writer mentioned that in Grey's, they're very big on double-meaning and metaphors. I AM big on double-meaning and metaphors. I guess that's why I love the show so much. Plus the fact that it is about doctors and I so wanted to be one before. And, of course, the huge, huge bonus that is Dr. McDreamy. :D

Wonderful Food Animes, Pinoy Soaps, and Koreanovelas

2006-06-15T08:55:00.000-07:00

Nowadays, the tv is some kind of my bestfriend. It's with me late in the morning (because i wake up late, hehe) till early in the morning (because i sleep late). Here are some of the shows that my "bestfriend" and I love watching:

Food anime is my new "thing" right now. Yakitate Japan! is the best! Kazuma appears to be a great baker. I want to taste Japan No. 22! And Japan No. 2 as well! Ang kukulit ng mga characters kase rin eh... nakakatuwa. Tapos meron pang isang food anime , sa HERO channel naman. Mr. Ajiko. Laban-laban din, dito naman sa pagluluto. Maihahalintulad ang mga palabas na ito sa IRON CHEF, kaso cartoons nga lang at maraming back story sa mga nagsisipaglaban-laban. :D Ang saya manood eh! At tatakamin ka ren dahil mukha ngang masarap yung pagkain! At in fairness, ang hihirap ng mga pinapagawang challenges sa kanila ah. Gumawa ba naman ng tinapay na walang asin o asukal?! Hyper!

Gusto ko rin ng Pinoy Soaps! Peyborit ko ngayon ang Bituing Walang Ningning (from now on to be referred to as BWN)! Ang ganda ng soap na yun talaga. Ang galing ng pagmodify nila sa story. Down factor para sa soap na yun na alam na ng mga tao basically kung ano mangyayare sa mga characters pero ang galing na na-pull off nila in such a way na kahit na ganun nga, na alam mo na, panonoorin at susubaybayan mo pa ren. Astig. In fairness, maiksi ang attention span ng mga tao ah, kaya feat na naging ganun ang kinalabasan ng BWN. Tapos ang galing pa ng casting. Parang swak na swak sa mga actors and actresses yung mga role nila. Bagay na bagay kay Sarah Geronimo yung role na Dorina na super die-hard fan ni Lavinia. Tas ang galing ren ng pagkagawa sa character ni Lavinia Arguelles, the kontrabida, kase di lang sha pinalabas na purely evil. Parang pinakita ren kung bakit sha nagkaganun, dahil na-p-pressure lang din sha sa nanay niya kaya kahit na masama sha you kinda have sympathy for her too. Pati si Dominic Ochoa, ang effective na kontrabida!!! Ang sarap tirisin, hahaha! Basta, okay na okay ang BWN... see for yourself. Inyo ring subaybayan. :D

At shempre, to cap my tv night, it has to end with MY GIRL!!! The Koreans have done it again! Winner na winner talaga itong koreanovela na ito, wahahahaha! Lalo na ngayon unti-unti nang nabubuo ang elemento ng love quadrangle sa istorya, hahaha! If you want something light and kilig and heart-warming, this is it! At kung gusto niyo rin na makakita ng gwapo at kacrush-crush na lalaki bago ka matulog sa gabi, ito ang tamang palabas na mapanood! (JULIAN!!!! Wahahaha!)

Hay, madaling araw nanaman... bukas uli bestpren. We shall watch again! ;p

Seasons Greetings

2006-06-14T09:22:00.000-07:00

My aunt has an out-of-the country (I think) meeting over the weekend. Which means I wouldn't have net access then. :c That's why I'm here, typing away right now... trying to substitute weekend net time to.. NOW! But honestly, I'm not in the mood to blab.

*****

It seems to be the season for many things. Back-to-School (hi brave law school and MA friends! and undergrad friends too ;p ) season, Employment season (myself still unincluded), First-Sweldo-Libre Season (whoo, i love my generous and very-considerate-to-the-still-unemployed friends! hahaha!), Break-Up season (:C). For me, it is currently In-House season. Quite self-explanatory. But it's weird because... (can't believe i'm actually typing this) I enjoy doing household chores. Seriously. Not only is it good preparation for future family life (wahahaha!), it's also great exercise! Hahaha. My tita would be thrilled if she ever got to read this post of mine.

* pagbigyan na ang tila pa-cute at alam-mo-nang-wala-na-talagang-maisip-na-matinong-title na title ng post na ito *

Hayayay, Yayayayayay, Yayayayayay, Yayayayay...

2006-06-12T08:47:00.000-07:00

The title is supposed to be sung to the tune of Don Romantiko. Wala lang.

*****

It's one thing that you get attracted to someone because of striking good looks or because of that certain "dating" and it's another thing when you're captivated through intellect. The latter lasts longer in my case.

*****

Literature, and the world in general, would lack life and luster without metaphors, double-meanings, allusions, overtones, and all the other figures of speech. Sure, everything would seem more clear given that whatever it is that has to be said must be relayed in a straightforward manner. But then again that would be... boring. If it worked like that, the color red would just be the color red and nothing else. It wouldn't stand for love or war or luck... it would be just a word pertaining to one particular color.

*****

Symbolism breathes soul into words that otherwise would have been just a group of letters organized in a way that they could form a concrete thought.

*****

Hey, I want to acknowledge your writing and say how amazed I always am after reading something of yours. There. Start a blog, please?

"Hidden Hinhin" and other short stories

2006-06-05T08:04:00.000-07:00

Ang fickle ng kapatid ko. Nagdadalawang-isip kung mag-U-UP sha. At yan ay pagkatapos naming maglakad-lakad buong araw sa ka-UPhan para iprocess ang paglipat niya. Kamusta naman di ba?! Grabe, ewan ko ba dun. Kung ako noon ay sinawimpalad na di pumasa ng UP, super lahat ng means para makalipat doon the next year gagawin ko talaga. Dream school ko eh. Pero sha mukang hindi niya dream school. Ewan ko sa kanya. Sana malinawagan na sha kung saan niya talaga gusto. Para di masasayang ang pagod ng mga binti ko.

*****

Nararamdaman kong may magandang naidudulot ang aking pananatili sa bahay palagi... parang feeling ko ngayon na lang uli ako talagang napirmi sa bahay. As in in the truest sense, ah. Ngayon na lang uli ako up-to-date sa mga pangyayari dito... kasi naman aminado naman ako, lagi naman kasi akong wala. Laging may ginagawa kung saang lupalop. Basta, okay na pakiramdam 'to. Parang reconnecting, ganun.

*****

Minsan talaga di maiiwasan na may mga bagay na ma-t-take for granted ka sa pang araw-araw na buhay... Kaya ngayong naalala ko na ganyan nga, nagpapasalamat ako sa lahat ng mga bagay na meron ako ngayon na kadalasan ay tine-take for granted ko. Tenk u por ol dat, Lord.

*****

Eksena sa Ecosoc Tambayan kanina:

KE: (addressed sa mga ecosocers sa tambayan)
Heyah! Papakilala ko sa inyo kapatid ko, si Joanne. Mag-U-UP na sha e.

daldalan galore with Ecosocers... after a few minutes...

JO: (mejo tumahimik ng konti tapos looking puzzled...)
KE, ang hinhin ng kapatid mo... ganyan ba talaga sha lagi o ngayon lang dahil bago mga taong kasama niya?

KE: (nagets and implication) So anu naman ang implication nun Jo?!

OTHER ECOSOCERS: (halakhak ng malakas)

After a few hours, sa may OUR...

KE: (nakita si mikoy at kats) KATS! MIKOY!

KATS AND MIKOY: Uy! Hi!

KE: Mikoy, kapatid ko pala, si Joanne.

KATS: (na nasa tamabayan a few hours ago...sabi kay Mikoy) Ang hinhin nung kapatid niya, noh?

YUN NA YUN EH. Fine.

So goodbye pag-i-illusion na meron akong pinoproject na dalagang pilipina image, ano?! Pero I object! May kahinhinan kaya ako sa katawan! It's there, somewhere, hidden deep inside... hehehe. ;P

Still a Bum

2006-06-04T07:43:00.000-07:00

Self-explanatory.

And that's after the confusion post. Well, I'm still confused. So I didn't go for it in the end. Well, not yet. There's a defer-to-next-training option which I have decided to take for the meantime. Excellent.

But I feel even more "bummer". My siblings are starting school tomorrow. And they seem to be all independent enough and don't need my assistance whatsoever on their first day. I volunteered to accompany them to school. And I'm talking about 3 siblings, 3 different schools here... and they all declined. And this includes a brother of mine who's entering a new high school and is going to commute going there. I should be happy that we all turned out self-sufficient. Well, I am. This is just probably because I have a lot of free time nowadays.

*****

My sister passed UP! Well, I've known that for sometime already but now she's transferring for sure. I think I'm even more excited for her than she is for herself, hehe. It's just that I had such a great time in UP... and I'm excited for her to have a great time there too. :D

Confusion at its Peak

2006-06-03T01:08:00.000-07:00

Okay. Now that I am faced with something tangible, this job hunt thing is made even more confusing. And the fact that I have to give a decision about it in 30 or so hours is adding greatly to the pressure. I sure wish I did yoga or any of the other mind-clearing, meditating stuff that people engage in. Or that I were a kalesa horse or a race horse (para mas sosyal, haha) so that I'd have eye guards and just one direction to go towards and then decision-making wouldn't be a problem.

On second thought, I'd rather be the kalesa driver or the horse jockey (same concept, para mas sosyal). Because making decisions is living life. And I'm not exactly excited about the idea of horseshoes welded onto my would-be hooves and having a carrots and oats diet for as long as I live. ;p

Fickle! Fickle!

2006-06-01T07:39:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought that I actually had some direction infused into the beginnings of my career, I come across my dream org's website. One link led to another and I suddenly found myself the newest UN Online Volunteer. A few clicks after I'm viewing the DSWD website and getting its contact numbers. I am actually going to call them tomorrow to ask if they have any job openings for someone like me. Oh yes. So much for my resolve to definitely enter the corporate world and make lots of money. And for saying that I would never consider working for the government. And for dismissing Lags' and Arvon's jokes about me and DSWD. I am eating my own words. And it's confusing my "brainbuds".

Well, nothing's certain. Gloria freezed government hiring till July. I haven't even taken the Civil Service Exam. And I just found out that hardcore social work required passing a licensure exam. This will probably end up under my formerly viable list of career path options (which include becoming a living asia researcher, a national geographic photographer, and a jet-setter, that is, if jet-setting would be considered a career). But I shall try tomorrow and after that, get a feel of it.

That is basically how I'm tackling "career pathing" -- I think of something I'd suppose I'd like doing, research a bit about it, and then try to FEEL if it would work out for me. This system and I are compatible with each other. I've actually a lot about the things I like and don't like through it. For example, I discovered that I could possibly work for a bank, but it depends on the type of work offered. And I confirmed that I am definitely technical-computer-work-averse. So no database administration or any other techy stuff whatsoever because it'll just be utter torture. It's a trial-and-error process but at least I get to eliminate stale options and seek out more of the type of jobs that felt... RIGHT. I trust that this system of mine, however vague and seemingly unorganzied, will eventually lead me to something that'll be perfect for everything I've set out to do. Yep, everything shall fall perfectly into place. In the meantime, I shall continue FEELING it all out.

XMEN 3: Spoiler Warning -- Read at Your Own Risk!

2006-05-28T01:35:00.000-07:00

XMEN 3 was hot!!! Or rather, Hugh Jackman was hot, haha! But yeah, the movie met my expectations. And even exceeded them at some points. The story twists were good. I didn't expect important people to actually die. It's probably the happy-ending-seeking Filipino-movie-goer in me. I like Iceman too... he's growing up . ;p And the plot the development's really exciting! Can't wait for the next installment!

I love the X-Men. I used to watch the cartoon series every Friday, channel 2, 7:30 pm. I still remember the first episode, the one in wherein they got to meet Jubilee and brought her back to the mansion to become one of them. I used to see myself as Storm. She has one of the coolest powers. I always had a crush on Cyclops, hehe. I even collected trading cards (the big ones, the small ones, original and fake) and even bought original toys and comic books. At one point, I think I memorized all the X-Men's profiles and back stories, and even the level of their powers, haha. They fascinated me so much that I remember wishing I was a mutant. I really had a hard time comprehending why the humans in the series feared the mutants when they were amazing! X-Men the best Marvel animated series ever. :D

Funny, Letti was smiling all the way back to UP after watching the movie. Why? She kept thinking about the scene where Wolverine kills Jean Grey. And not because it's a moving scene.. but because he's topless! Hahaha! That led us to talking about our top ten gwapo men list. Here's mine (in no particular order):

1) Hugh Jackman -- X-Men, this movie with Ashely Judd and the cow theory (super gwapo!!!)

2) Brad Pitt -- a recent addition to my list. Didn't like him that much before. Meet Joe Black, Ocean's 12

3) Pierce Brosnan -- James Bond of course! and The Thomas Crown Affair (which i really liked by the way)

4) Tom Cruise -- first foreign celebrity crush! Top Gun, The Firm and Mission Impossible

5) Josh Hartnett -- Pearl Harbor!!!! Hangar scene!!!! Waaaahhhh!!! Self-explanatory. Hehe.

6) Jude Law -- Music from Another Room, Gattaca

7) Ethan Hawke -- Gattaca

8) Matt Damon -- Harvard guy!

9) Tom Welling -- Superman!!!!!

10) Tobey Maguire -- As Spiderman

;P

The Bat and Sunflowers in Unnatural Habitat

2006-05-21T03:08:00.000-07:00

The wall of the bat cave caved in. Oh, that was ironic.

*****

In the tradition of nonsensical and utterly release-oriented blog entries, I now write. So this is how I'll get all the thoughts that are muddled up inside my head out?! Psychologists say it's an effective way to know what it is that bugs someone the most. Or what he feels strongly about at the moment (notice the consistent use of the pronoun 'he' when referring to a person of uncertain sex in general... i adhere to the traditional English grammar taught by the the Great Ms. Vendiola...just a fact pointed out).

*****

My sister passed UP. Now that the hard part is over, the harder part's next: DECIDING is she is actually going to study in UP. Oh, I know that most of my blog's regular readers (who have streaks of academic snobbishness in them...o, wag ikaila, aminin!) would say that it's a no-brainer. Of course, she has to choose UP! Yep, that would be the case... if the world were round and sunflowers grew in all the front porches of people's houses...and if all people had front porches. But no, we don't have a front porch. So this one's going to be difficult. Tsk, tsk... I feel for her.

*****

MATT got evicted from the Big Brother House!!! :C

*****

The SM Mall of Asia is HUGE. My legs definitely got a workout yesterday. Saw Richard Gutierrez there. Tall and gwapo! Didn't like the honey-colored streaks though. Chynna Ortaleza was with him *haha, flashback*. Saw Anna Capri at the parking lot. And lots of Chinese businessmen and businesswomen in full suits and corporate attire walking around the mall, a very unnatural sight. It was like they were taken from their natural habitat and... basta, they seemed off in a casual, mall setting when they're in full regalia. Loved Surplus Shop. And the fact that I'm down two sizes! Woohoo!

*****

A friend of mine is the happiest guy on earth as of the moment... and he forgot to tell me!!! *smiles* Whee, it's a sign!!! Hahaha! (and nobody understood that but me and a non-blog reader)

Down in the Dumps

2006-05-20T23:44:00.000-07:00

It's that certain feeling, when everything around you's fine and unperturbed and everyone's quite happy and satisfied with what's going on in their lives... everyone but YOU.

Why Men Don't Listen to Women

2006-05-17T06:29:00.000-07:00

To kill time while waiting for my sister's interview (she's applying to transfer to geog in UP), I browsed through the Geog 1 projects scattered in front of some professor's faculty room. And, I found some interesting material included in one of them. A study by the University of Sheffield in U.K. apparently conducted a study on the reason behind men's difficulty with listening to women. The reason, as it turns out, is because of difference in brain functions.

Yeah, it is confirmed. Iba nga talaga ang takbo ng utak ng mga lalake sa mga babae. It is in the male's manner of processing the sound of the woman's voice. Men process it in the auditory section of the brain, the part where music is processed. They say this is so because women's voice has a melodic quality to it, similar to music. Men are attracted to that sound (because it's pretty, hehe) but it is harder for them to understand what the sound means because of its complexity, or something like that. And that is why men usually have a hard time understanding and communicating with women. In fairness, there is actually a scientific explanation to that, haha.

In short, men are generally slower than women. It's not their fault they're built that way so women, don't be too hard on them. Hehehe... ;p

The No Rice Movement

2006-05-16T09:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I made the toughest decision of my life. I decided to give up eating rice. Haha, hardest! ;p Well, difficulty is relative (like almost everything else) and this specific act is extremely difficult for someone like me who seriously considered placing I AM MORE OF A RICE PERSON THAN AN ULAM PERSON as answer to the "I am more" part of our yearbook page (oh yes I did. I know...tsk, tsk).

What led me to that decision? I don't really know exactly...I just felt like trying to last a week without it. And perhaps this too is probably spurred by the NO RICE Movement of Ethel and Mace, which in fairness, has already shown noticeable effects on them. And the pigging out sessions during our stay in Sorsogon, that too. This serves as some sort of concrete action in hope for a reversal of the ugly, fat-inducing effects of eating non-stop for five days while not doing much physical activity.

What's good about this NO RICE thing is that I get to eat all the other stuff aside from rice (but I still don't even if I can, hehe). And as of the moment, I am craving for butterscotch (Yummy...), the ones sold in our canteen back in high school. Wala lang, just had to say that. :D

I'm in day two of this project of mine and I may say that so far, it is going so good . I do hope this lasts for a week at the least. Wish me luck!

More Trip Thoughts Giving Birth to Others

2006-05-15T12:01:00.000-07:00

Having a taste of what barrio life feels like got me thinking: "Would I thrive in such an environment?"

I love the fact of waking up everyday to the most amazing scenery, and the peace and the quiet that comes with that kind of life, but am I up to having that permanently? Well, I actually think I could get used to the simple life, with my daily routine beginning in the wee hours of the morning by going to church, then attending to household chores, and perhaps to my small business in the poblacion (which is just a few short steps from where I would be living), and then going home to my kids and my family and having delicious, home-cooked dinner. Living in a place where people actually know their neighbors would be really nice. Hmm...

*****

While riding the boat back to the pampang after whaleshark watching, my friend and I got to talking about our dreams and what exactly we wanted to do when we had the funds to do anything that we liked to do. She wanted to go back to climbing mountains, go back to training (she was part of a mountaineering org before). That and of course, all the more important stuff like taking care of the family. And yeah, i agreed with her. I wanted to climb mountains too. And, if work schedules permit us, we agreed on applying to a mountaineering org together.

But that's not the only thing I want to do. I have grown very fond of the sea the past year, having discovered how beautiful it is down there. I want to take in more of that beauty. So I'd like to seriously learn how to scuba dive. Then I'm diving off to the Great Barrier reef.

Oh, and of course, I'd love to experience other cultures. I like the thought of living in a country for a month at the least in a year, just to savor the authentic way of life there. Or even two to three months. Or even six. I want it long enough to make new friends and taste the authentic dishes and get invited to weddings. To just take in the culture...whatever culture it may be.

So, I want to reach the tops of mountains. I want to explore the seas. And I want to savor the culture of at least one country a year. That would leave a lot of time for work, won't it? Hahaha. Not unless my work entails constant gallivanting around the world. Hmm...

*****

I just realized that I've been on a lot of trips before. Wala lang, marami-rami na rin pala akong napuntahan, in fairness. But this last trip of mine is my favorite trip ever so far. :D I am really looking forward to our first (because there will be others!) Bugsy out-of-the-country trip. Yay! I love it when I have something concrete set to look forward to. It increases my drive to do things.

Enumeration Lang: The Bugsy Sorsogon Trip (PART II)

2006-05-15T08:22:00.000-07:00

Hmm... naisip ko lang mag-enumerate ng mga iba't ibang bagay-bagay na nangyare sa trip naming last week... Eto sila:

Highlight ng First Day: Ang "Dora Rat" Experience ni Jham sa bus

Highlight ng Second Day: Natutunan naming lahat ang poker (yeba, favorite sport! Hahaha, sport talaga e!)

Highlight ng Third Day: Hmm..it's a contest between Pinoy Henyo and the feat na mapagkasya ang kalahating drum ng tubig sa anim na katao

Highlight ng Fourth Day: The Don Romantiko Music Video sa beach!!! (Oh yeah, contender ito sa highlight of the trip award, hehehe)

Highlight ng Fifth Day: Butanding watching sa Donsol, Sorsogon

Runners-Up:

- Authentic Bicol Dinner: Bicol Express, Tinuktukan (ata, not sure kung tama). Sarap!

- Frisbee on the beach

- Yung nakaka-awestruck na ganda ng view ng Bulusan Volcano paglabas ng simbahan nung Sunday

- Cagsawa side trip to see Mayon Volcano

- Tableas!!! (Ang sarap talaga ng tsokolate, da best!)

Ang Kolokoy na si Caloy: The Bugsy Sorsogon Trip (PART I)

2006-05-15T07:51:00.000-07:00

After 5 years of planning, natuloy na ren kaming mag-out-of-town ng mga HS friends ko!!! Oh yeah! So imagine niyo na lang ang kasabikan naming lumabas ng NCR at ng CALABARZON area (dahil lagi na lang kaming nag-s-sleepover sa bahay either ni doyti or ni dana..though enjoy din naman talaga, hehe). At ang tatanda na namin para di pa lumbas ng malayo, ah. Kaya naman nung bumili kami ng ticket sa Philtranco noong isang Sabado, grabe, feel na feel ko tlga na tuloy na tuloy na ito, na there's no stopping us na! Yeah!

At ayun na nga, lumarga na kami ng May 10 ng gabi. VIP bus ng Philtranco. First time kong magVIP bus, in fairness, maluwag. Sayang di na namin naabutan yung dating VIP bus na may chicken joy pa at may stewardess pa sa loob...alam mo nang cost-cutting na e.

Teka, may katamaran din pala akong mag blow-by-blow account ng mga nangyare...kaya napagdesisyunan kong wag na lang. Hanggang dyan na lang yan. Mag-e-enumerate na lang ako ng kung anu mang maisip ko, haha. (Pero kung gusto niyo ng blow-by-blow or tagpi-tagping blow-by-blow account, daan kayo sa blog nina mace, ethel, ish, mae, tonet, tidoy, joey, jham (may blog ka ba?) at migs...yan ay kung kakilala niyo sila, hehehe...)

To cut the long story short, binagyo kami sa Sorsogon. Yes, it is the first bagyo of the year. Para namin shang sinalubong ng malugod tuloy, haha. At hyper bagyo sha ha, in fairness to Caloy. Yun na ata ang pinakamalakas at pinakanakakatakot na bagyo na naranasan ko ever! Tama ba namang mabuwal ang mgqa puno sa kapaligiran namin at matanggal ang mga bintana ng bahay?! Scary talaga... tapos dahil din sa kanya, nagbrownout at nawalan ng tubig. Oh yeah, di ba? First two days tuloy nauwi kami sa pag-p-poker, pusoy dos, pagkain, at walang tigil na kwentuhan. Kamusta naman at pumunta pa kami ng Sorsogon para gawin namin ang lagi naman naming ginagawa na sa Maynila di ba?! Hehehe...in fairness, todo bonding ever. :D Sabi nga ni Migs nung pag gising namin ng 3rd day, "Grabe, nagdadaldalan pa ren sila!". Oh yes Migs, madadaldal talaga kami. Hehehe. :D

So PBB / Survivor ang naging tema ng trip namin. Walang ilaw at tubig..tapos nasa loob lamang kami ng iisang bahay ng two days. Hahaha, in fairness, masaya naman. :D

Di ko nga akalain na matutuloy pa ang pag-b-beach namin ng day four e. Pero buti nautloy, fun kase. Kahit na ang sakit ng mga coral, magaganda naman sila. Tapos ang saya ng Ultimate frisbee game namin! (Go Team KE, Dana, Mae, and Jham!!!) At hanggang sa beach nadala ang pagkaSurvivor-themed ng trip sa pagkamay sa pancit na saucy. And the fantastic photo ops (nasa friendster ko) Pero da best ang Don Romantiko video na ginawa namin!!!! Wahahaha, tripping kung tripping...at game talaga lahat, wala man lang nagresist na di sumali sa sayaw! Hahahaha!

And the Butanding ng last day. Akalain mo ba namang makakita pa kami ng Butanding (whaleshark) after a recent storm?! Ang swerte namin, nakakatuwa!!! The best talaga yung tatalon ka sa gumagalaw na bangka (pero aaminin ko, nagulat ako nang malaman kong kailangan kong tumalon HABANG GUMAGALAW PA YUNG BANGKA! Pero wala nang panahon para matakot ren e, hehe. Tatalon ka na lang talaga.) tas lalangoy ka ng mabilis para makita yung Butanding e!!! Coolness talaga ever! Astig. Super. Nature trip kung nature trip. I love the seas talaga. Tas nakakita pa pala ako ng Walo-Walo (sea snake), wala lang.

At, nagstop-over kame ng Cagsawa to see Mayon Volcano up close (well, kinda). Ang ganda. Astig talaga.

Basta, super fun nung entire trip. :D Super memorable. Sa totoo lang, kahit naman di na kami natuloy ng beach at Butanding sa Donsol, keri na lang ren naman... kase sa kasalukuyan, wala na akong ibang mas pipiliin pa na makasama na mastranded sa loob ng isang bahay habang bumabagyo ng walang ilaw at kuryente sa malayong lupalop kundi silang mga kasama ko. :D

Okay Bugsy, next stop, MACAU na!!!

On the PBB Teen Edition

2006-05-07T09:11:00.000-07:00

In fairness, I find PBB Teen Edition amusing. Nakakatawa talaga minsan kase ang petty na talaga ng mga issues nila. Parang kamusta naman ang kabataang Pinoy, di ba kung ganun?! Pero in fairness to them naman den, may mga times na may pagkamalalim din naman sila.

Dalawa dun taga-sa amin. Si Bam at si Joaqui... na ika nga ni Tonet, di talaga benta sa mga tao, haha. But no, sabi ng kapatid ko ganun daw talaga si Bam. As in kung anu sha sa PBB, ganun talaga sha sa totoong buhay. As in yung mga "Much Love and Respect" niya, yikes, ganun talaga daw yun. At mabilis ren daw talaga ma-in love nga. Yun na eh. Kabarkada kase ng kapatid ko sa school, haha. Si Joaqui naman, nakaka-walking ng tita ko dito sa village namin tuwing umaga. At sabi niya gwapo daw talaga sa personal. Haha, sana matanggal na sha! Ayoko sha e. Sayang talaga at natanggal kagad si Aldred. Sha pa man din yung crush ko talaga nung una. Gwapo e, ganda ng dimples! Hehe. Pero kung ganun nga lang ang reaksyon niya sa loob ng Bahay ni Kuya, mas makakabuti ngang lumabas na lang sha. At least nasa guestings na sha ngayon sa ABS-CBN shows! Yeah!

Ang gusto ko, on the other hand, ay sina Kim (cute and sweet and nice) at Jam (ang ganda e) sa girls at sina Gerald (ang gwapo talaga e!!!!), Mikee (in fairness, ayos sakin si Mikee e) at Matt (reminds me of...hmmm... ;p) sa boys. Hmmm..sino kayang mananalo sa kanila? Early final four bet ko ay sina: Kim, Matt at Mikee. Three lang pala, wala akong mailagay na pang-apat e. We'll see...

F1 Dreams, Here I Come! Hahaha!

2006-05-07T08:29:00.000-07:00

Just came from one of my lolos' 71st birthday dinner (whoo, I'm so full of sushi and tempura at the moment, YUM!!!). Since it was a lolo's dinner, we were mainly adults (I was the youngest person present). I was with old people literally. So they were talking about stuff they do nowadays, their jobs, businesses, children and grandchildren, usual oldies talk. My other lolo said he wanted to buy beachfront property in Coron, Palawan. But before acquring that he first wants to buy a helicopter. At first I thought he wasn't serious (he was actually asking my tita to look up helicopter for sale ads in eBay) but as it turns out, he was. Coolness. I wish I had the funds to do that too...but I want to be younger than he is...around 40 at least when I do get the capacity to buy whatever I want. Para maenjoy ko naman, di ba? Sabi nga nila bumabalik daw sa pagkabata yung lolo kong yun e...puro kase kinda pamabata yung mga binibili.

Then the same lolo started talking about Formula 3 racing, and how he's into racing right now because his friend who was an ex-Formula 3 racer has a son who's racing right now in the Philippines. He was discussing that with my tita and tito (the next youngest people present), and they didn't know anything about it. On the other hand, I understood everything he was saying (since I'm sort of a semi-F1 fan). So we ended up talking about F3 and F1...and my lolo invited me to come with him one of these days to Sto. Rosario Race Track to watch an F3 competition!!! WOOHOO!!! :D I hope I get the chance to ride one of those things!!! And to meet Matteo (is he F3 already?)!!! F1 dreams, here I come!

Peanut Butter Cake

2006-05-05T12:30:00.000-07:00

A thought just occured to me. I have yet to taste a peanut butter / peanut-flavored cake. And that thought was triggered by the teaspoon of peanut butter in my mouth, the only edible, no-need-to-cook "food' I could find in the house. But I really think peanut-flavored cake would taste nice...especially if it's tastes like Reese's cups . Yum. :D

I am net-whoring. Thank God for unlimited net access during weekends. I feel like I'm making up for all the net time I lost not being able to go online during the week.

Weird but I find staying at home all the time okay...I am even getting used to it. I could almost feel like not going out and just staying put and doing things here inside the house. And that's after four hectic years of not being able to do that. It really feels nice to be around here a lot... *Hmmm...* :D

I'm blog-hopping. And I just ran out of blogs to hop into. I tried using the random blog thing of blogspot but I can't seem to find any blog that interests me. Hohum.

The Meaning of Success

2006-05-05T11:51:00.000-07:00

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Such an inspiring quote. Idealistic but at the same time has some truth to it. Just thought of posting it here because I know a lot of people who are at the start of their own roads to success. Happy trip!

A Liga of Their Own

2006-05-03T20:31:00.000-07:00

The basketball enthusiast in me that has been asleep for quite a long time has been awakened. And no, not by the PBA-NBA All-Star game held at the Araneta last Monday (although I would have loved to watching that, given the funds), but by our village liga.

Yes, the village liga. Wherein my two brothers play for our village's team. Wherein my two brothers and their VERY CUTE friends play for our village's team. Hahaha! :P

I love watching my brothers'games. I didn't notice how actually (hectic four years of college, tsk, tsk...) but they turned out to be pretty good players. Patrick is center of his team in his age bracket, "Supalpal King", with his height (5'10'' and only 14 years old!). The younger of my brothers is even captain ball / star player of his team! At one game, the Juniors (the older liga basketball players) of our village chanted "WE WANT MICHAEL" when they began the game without him in the starting line-up! That was so cool...hehe. My sisters and I always cheer for them at the games. Good thing the court is in front of our house. But I think I would have gone to watch their games even if they were held in other courts. Proud ate the me. My father would've been so proud of them.

Yesterday was a Special Day

2006-05-03T20:14:00.000-07:00

Why, you ask?

(1) Because it was Jaymie and Miko's birthday celebration (Happy Birthday!!!)

and

(2) Because I managed to jog FOUR acad ovals straight for the very first time!!!! WOOHOO!!!! Such an accomplishment for me! Hahaha! Imagine, after many jogs, I finally completed more than two ovals (which was my previous record, hehe). That's 8.8 kilometers straight, woohoo!!!

And for that, I'd like to thank the people who made this possible:

- Maggie, my very first jogging-pace buddy
- Lags, Desh, and Arvon... once part of the jog club
- Letti, who's the only remaining jogging buddy i have at the moment (hehe, lazy people you. :D)
- And to the one who inspired me to jog / lose weight. You know who you are...but I don't think you read my blog. But thanks anyway! ;P

Yeah! I am ready for the 5km marathon on May 28!

I. AM.BACK!!!

2006-05-01T22:44:00.000-07:00

Wahahaha, at last, I'm online!!!!! Grabe, di ako mapakali talaga pag di ako nakakanewt for a certain span of time... parang ang weird na di ako nakakanet at di nakakablog. At kamusta naman, ilang blog entry na ba ang nagawa ko sa utak ko habang di ako makaonline?! Haha, kinda weird sha pero di lang naman ako ang ganun (Hi Des!:D)

Blogger na talaga ako! hahaha. :D

It's great to be back online! Woohoo!

Happy Hang-Over

2006-04-25T07:41:00.000-07:00

I am in an exceptionally good mood. A happy hang-over, as I have come to term it. It results from an extremely positive experience, the effects of which hasn't worn off yet. And it feels so good. *smile*

Ghost. Fish. Deformed Japanese doll. Lib Sci. McDreamy. Alimango. Elevator moment. Endless photo ops. Silver slippers. Text hugs. Real hugs. Hmmm... *smile again*

Can't explain. Don't want to attempt to. I'll just be smiling, inside and out.

The End of an Era

2006-04-22T21:29:00.000-07:00

I AM OFFICIALLY UNEMPLOYED.

Wahaha, that's looking at the glass half-empty.

I AM OFF TO START DOING GREAT THINGS!!! YEAH!

Now that's glass half-full.

Perspectives matter a lot, don't they?

*****

Graduation. The end of an era, so to speak. And an it era it was. I always expected college to be rich in learning. I was going to UP so there was no doubt about that. But I never expected it to be this FULL. It seems like an entire lifetime just happened in four short years. I was born, learned to walk, learned to talk, grew up, played, studied (oh yeah, in fairness to me i did study, haha), failed even if I studied, failed because I didn't study, succeeded, got serious, got silly, got passionate about something, got hurt, got over the hurt, got fired (kind of), loved, loved and lost, loved and lost and then saved what was lost, died (of course, that's in a figure of speechish way), had a family, had children (15, i think... i lost count. but produced just one boy, haha.), did wrong, was done wrong to, accepted apologies, said my own sorries, had fun, got stressed out, relaxed, had lots of happy moments, vacationed, traveled, had family problems (ahaha), researched, and so on and so forth. Oh yes I learned. I learned A LOT. About relationships, love, pain, friendships, work, growing up. And of course, let us not forget the law of supply and demand and the basic accounting principles of debit and credit, that constitute half of my learnings about pain (haha). As a good friend of mine put it, she has never felt as ALIVE as she had felt the past four years. Now that everything's over and done with, I look back and see that college was more than what I expected it to be...and I'm glad that it turned out that way.

*****

New phase in life = new face of blog!!! And that explains my new blog template. Although nothing much changed (no additional "techy" features like counters or tagboards and no additional "creative" features as well), it just seemed a fitting way to jumpstart this new period in my life. And I'm tired of the blue background thing too.

Nakakuha ng Buwelo

2006-04-21T09:52:00.000-07:00

Akala ko nakakuha na ako ng buwelo. Ilang paksa na rin ang naisip ko na ilagay at ipost dito kaya lang walang natutuloy. Tapos, kakagaling ko lang sa blog ng isa kong kaibigan..naiinggit ako sa kanya bigla, dire-direcho lang sha ng kasasalita. Gusto kong magsalita na ayaw. Ewan. Sa mga ganitong panahon, naaalala ko kung bakit mga sampung buwan ko rin hindi ipinaalam sa iba na may blog ako.

Back from Galera

2006-04-07T23:35:00.000-07:00

And I'm definitely darker! Woohoo! And I definitely saw for a fact that fish do move in schools and that some of them glow fantastically underwater. And that they don't glow like that when taken out of the water (that tidbit is according to Marine Science Maggie, hehe). And that White Beach doesn't always have a night life. And that Bucky is the next American Idol (wahahahaha, OH BOY!). And that we all have to get rid of this "Arvon Accent" or else we won't get accepted to any notable company. And that UL may have "bouncing" as a fallback is ever he doesn't pursue a career in economics or advertising. And that Lags can still get darker (oh yes, that is true. and there's proof, haha.). And that driving a speedboat is even more thrilling than riding the banana boat that it pulls behind it. And that everyone should watch the Carebears Panda episode and learn a little something about life from it. And that I have the tendency to stick to order one dish when eating in a particular restaurant. And that you should bring the digicam battery charger along with you or else you'll end up with just eight pictures, all of them in the bus going to the final destination. And that sometimes you don't get to see the sunrise or the sunset but nevertheless, still consider the entire day as one heck of a sight to behold.

Nice Quote

2006-04-02T09:55:00.000-07:00

I make a wish but then she says she doesn't believe in shooting stars.
-- Too Much To Believe, Spring-Time Flowers

Reminds me of someone. Someone who doesn't believe in the magic of the stars. Someone who doesn't believe in the magic of the stars ANYMORE. Because, he said, they always fail. Because wishes made on them don't ever come true.

I, on the other hand, love the stars. In the beginning it was just due to a childish association, but now it's because of the way they shine at night, in the dark, dark sky. Because of those stars, I shall never fear the night completely. And thus, another nice quote, a personal favorite:

Though my soul may sit in darkness it shall rise in perfect light. I have loved the stars so fondly to be fearful of the night.

2006-04-02T01:07:00.000-08:00

A good friend of mine texted a quote about love and getting hurt because of love...which led me to this realization: I have had my heart broken many times in my life, but not one of those times was caused by a romantic relationship. Weird, because though I don't actually know how being heartbroken because of love life feels, the pain of having one's heart broken by other things hurts just as much, maybe even more.

And this is because love life or not, human beings love. And whether it be love for an organization, a group, a person, family, entity, as long as you've given a part of yourself to it and have devoted time and care and effort in nurturing it, you unwittingly make yourself vulnerable to possibly getting hurt by it. The more you love, the deeper it gets, the greater the chance of whatever it is that you have loved to hurt you back. A big risk, yes, but definitely a risk worth taking.

Loving is not focusing on the imperfections of whatever it is you love. It is looking beyond these imperfections and still seeing something perfect nevertheless. It is stopping to think about the reason why someone you love brushed you off and not taking it at face value... it is understanding, and devoting time and effort to understand. Because that is what love is all about. It involves the inspiration to take something as is and transform it into something it could be. Love is not complacent. Sometimes it is even too aggressive, to a point it can become annoying. But again, it is imperative to look for a deeper reason underneath all that because, sadly, intentions may not be delivered well. But that doesn't make those intentions any bad. It is a cycle of inputs and outputs where you get what you give....

*****

Thank God for tear glands. When words fail at release, they act as stand ins and serve their purpose.

I so want to write...

2006-04-01T08:54:00.000-08:00

... but I find myself not being able to. Sheesh. Too many stuff on my mind to unload without an outlet for release. Pretty dank picture. Come to think of it, I wouldn't be able to release it anyway. Because the walls have eyes and the floor, ears. And because the internet is a mighty, mighty invention...whose inventor my tp and I shall acknowledge in the thank-you part of our thesis. And I suppose because I just read a short story written by someone I have a high regard for and is still in the process of being moved by the accurate details placed carefully anf purposefully within the piece and the provocative effect it possesses overall. And I know I must sound like an incoherent, sleepy girl attempting to create a blog entry worth reading. And I am an incoherent, sleepy girl attempting to create a blog entry worth reading. Blah. I should just go back to reading DECEPTION POINT instead of blogging in the wee hours of the morning.

Da April Fools Post

2006-04-01T06:52:00.000-08:00

Nung isang araw, nagtext ang kaibigan kong ULTIMATE Globe text non-stop user (feeling ko sa aming lahat sa phonebook niya na Globe users) ng katanungang ito: Bakit kailangan may umaalis? Aba, shempre ako, sagot na sagot naman (oo, sumasagot talaga ako lagi sa mga tanong niya, kahit gaano kababaw pa o kalalim, hehe). Anu nga ba yung mga sinagot ko? Hmmm...eto:

- dahil ganun talaga ang buhay, kailangan may mga phase na nagtatapos para makasulong sa bagong yugto naman

- para makapag-grow. kase kung dun ka na lang forever, baka hindi ka na mag-grow

- kase pinapaalis na ng sapilitan (hehe)

- to make way for the new

Basically, yan ang mga sagot ko. Ngayon, dadagdagan ko iyang mga sagot na yan.

- dahil magkakaiba na ang gusto at hinahanap

- para malaman kung gaano kahalaga ang kung anong meron ka habang di pa umaalis

- upang ma-emphasize ren kung ano ang ang mga dahilan kung bakit ka nagstay in the first place

- para masubok ang tatag ng kung anong meron

- para pumunta kung saan ka mas masaya

- upang hanapin ang sarili

Tunay na bitter-sweet ang paglisan. Hmm...Hindi talaga ako mahusay sa pagdadala ng mga ganitong bagay.

Maikling Side Trip

2006-03-23T08:30:00.000-08:00

"Wala na lang akong magawa kundi mapangiti kapag nakikita ka."

Humayo't Magpakasaya

2006-03-21T06:11:00.000-08:00

Humayo ka't magpakasaya. Yung tipong kala mo wala nang bukas. Dahil, sa totoo lang, malapit na rin naman talaga maubusan ng bukas. Kaya dapat habang may panahon pa, sulitin mo na. Di laging may papasok sa pinto na magpapasilay ng ngiti sa iyong mga mata.

*****

Ang daldal ko. Palagi kasing maraming tumatakbong kung anu-ano sa isip ko. Isipin niyo na lang kung di ko naisusulat dito ang ilan sa mga yon. Kawawa naman ako, "repressed" child, in a way. Nakakahiya nga minsan e, di ko na-e-edit yung mga entries ko. May mga time na pag binabasa ko, may nawawalang mga salita sa sentence, na alam ko namang naisip ko nung sinusulat ko yun. Basta, minsan talaga nauunahan ng utak ko yung kamay ko sa pagttype e, kaya kala ko nasulat ko na, di pa pala. Hahaha.

*****

Salamat talaga sa mga naturally sweet at thoughtful na mga tao sa mundo. Nakakahigh EQ sila. :D

*****

Dapat talaga hindi na ako nag-b-blog ngayon. Dahil marami pa akong kailangan gawin. Ngunit, ayon sa prinsipyong sinusunod namin ni Ish, dapat akong magblog. More about that some other time, haha.

*****

O sha, back to acad mode na. B.I. talaga ang net ever, grrr!!!

Ang Parabula ng MRT Kard

2006-03-21T04:58:00.000-08:00

Isang araw, may isang babae (itago na lang natin sa pangalang KE) na nakalimutang hingin ang baon niya sa kanilang kasambahay. Pumasok sha ng walang baon sa araw na iyon at tanging natitirang pera sa kaniyang bag ay mga sukli mula sa mga dati pa niyang baon. Sa isip-isip niya, "Sige, oks lang. Sapat pa naman ang perang ito hanggang hapon pauwi. May MRT kard naman ako kaya magkakasya pamasahe ko." Taglay ang thought na iyon, masaya niyang hinarap ang araw.

Pagsapit ng hapon, umuwi siya ng maaga upang simulan na ang kaniyang matagal nang nabinbing thesis. Pagdating niya sa MRT station, ang haba ng pila. Natuwa siya. Kasi siya may MRT kard at di na kailangang pumila pa, astig. Kinapa niya ang bulsa sa kanyang bag kung saan palagi niyang nilalagay ang MRT kard. Aba, wala dun. Hmm, ma-double check nga...calling card ng Accenture, discount card sa parlor, UP ID, creative shot ni Doyti, ninenok ng kaibigan na picture ni *toot*, globe sim card, tiket ng bus na sinakyan kahapon. Syet, wala talaga! Kamusta naman, eksakto pambus at pangtraysikel na lang ang pera niya. Ano nang kanyang gagawin?!

Isip, isip. Hmm...aha! Text kagad sa MRTmate na laging kasabay pauwi! Okay, text...Nako, di kagad nagreply. Ano pa ba? Aha! Text sa sinasabayan minsan pa-Makati! Hintay ng reply...Yikes, di pwede, may lakad pa sha. Si MRTmate na lang...Oh no, may review siya at di pa uuwi. Patay, maglalakad na ata talaga siya pauwi. Hay. Bahala na, mabuti pang bumili na lang ng bagong MRT kard.

Pumila si KE sa mahabang pila ng MRT, nag-iisip ng paraan para makauwi habang dahan-dahang umuusad sa linya. Nang sa wakas ay makaabot na siya sa tagapag-bigay ng MRT kard, may tinig siyang narinig na sumambit sa kanyang pangalan. "KE!", a nito. Agad na lumingon si KE at nakitang ito pala'y isa niyang batchmate! Wahahahaha! Laking pasasalamat niya sa tadhana! Akalain mo nga naman! Lumapit sha sa batchmate niya at kinuwento sa kanya ang dilemma niya. Malugod namang pinahiram ng labin-limang pisong kulang pangcommute ng kanyang batchmate si KE upang siya'y makauwi. Sabay silang sumakay sa MRT at masayang nagchikahan pauwi.

*****

Mga bata, ay tatlong importanteng aral na makukuha mula sa parabulang ito:

1) Huwag tatanggap ng kahit anong ninenok na bagay mula sa kaibigan kahit pa maganda ang intensiyon niya sa pagbibigay sayo nito (dahil kakarmahin ka pag lumaon sa pagkawala ng MRT kard na P71 pa ang laman)

2) Maghintay ng kakilala sa MRT station pag nalagay sa sitwasyong hindi sapat ang salapi pauwi (epektibo itong panlutas ng suliraning kinahaharap)

3) Huwag mataranta kapag nalagay sa kahit anong sitwasyong tila napaka-ironic at napagsukluban ka na ng langit. Kaya pang gawan ng paraan yan. Kung di ikaw ang gagawa ng paraan, may ibang gagawa ng paraan para sayo. At SIYA yun, yung nasa itaas. (o, di ba? may sense itong pangatlo). Minsan kasi akala mo ikaw na lang talaga ang gumagawa ng lahat ng paraan para mangyare ang mga bagay sa buhay mo. Pero hindi rin. Di kailanman magkakaroon ng panahon na wala kang pera at mag-isa ka. Dahil hindi ka nag-iisa.

At iyan ang makabuluhan at may kalalimang konklusyon sa tila walang katuturang entry na ito.

Before ang Horoscope, After and Senti (Labo ng Title)

2006-03-17T07:54:00.002-08:00

Wahahaha! Ang perfect ng friendster horoscope ko ngayon. Something to do with letting go of expectations about some person who isn't living up to it. Feeling ko tuloy kilala ako ng gumagawa ng friendster horoscope. Freaky kung ganon.

*****

Ang senti ko talagang tao. Kanina galing kami ni Letti sa CHK. Nagjeep kami pabalik ng Econ. Tas ayun, senti-senti na. Sabi ni Letti last jog niya daw sa April 3 tapos ang gagawin niya iikot daw sha sa buong UP at kukuha daw sha ng pics ng buildings at places. At sinasama niya ako. Well, oks lang naman saken sumama. Sana nga lang tumagal ako, haha. There's always the Ikot rin naman pag di ko na kaya. Sasakay na lang ako ng jeep pabalik ng Econ, haha! Pero yun nga, senti-sentihan. Ang bilis ng four years e. Siguro nga mas mabilis kung by sem ang bilang...Di mo talaga napapansin na patapos na pala e. At narealize naming andame pa naming di pa pala nagagawa sa UP na naisip naming gawin bago pa kami pumasok dun. Like ako, matagal ko nang gusto magstar-gazing sa UP Observatory, sumigaw ng parang wala nang bukas sa gitna ng Sunken Garden, mag-ghost-hunting sa Educ, sumali sa Lakay o sa kahit anong mountaineering org, at magPE na basketball. At dama ko may mga nakakalimutan pa akong iba bukod pa diyan. Pero kakaiba, attached kung attached talaga eh. Pumapasok na lang ako minsan just to be with people. Kase sandali na lang ang panahon na makakasama ko sila ng ganun e. Kasi naman noh, ito pa man din ata ang pinakamasaya kong sem ngayong college, ang hirap tuloy i-let go. Haha, there was never a day talaga na di ko naalala kung gaano ako kasuwerte na sa UP ako nag-aaral...and those days include times kung kailan feeling mo ikaw na ang pinakabobong estudyante sa UP ah. Da best talaga kase e. The best school. The best people. The best teachers. The best environment. The best learning experience.

*****

I realized while riding the MRT on my way home that my life may be basically divided into two "eras": the BEFORE and the AFTER. And these are two totally different periods in my life, at least when what each revolves around each is taken into consideration. And, after years of just not getting around to thinking about it, I realize that I miss the BEFORE. So much.

It's just that it's been a long time since I ever felt really safe and protected and stable and all the other adjectives you can associate with words usually associated with the ones I have mentioned. And that's because I've been doing all that is mentioned for myself since BEFORE ended and AFTER came. It was a personal choice. Or come to think of it, a must that was shoved right at me since it was, in my situation, the "right" thing to do...so, does this mean I didn't have a choice?

I am feeling its after-effects. Not so good. Quite inconvenient, especially when they attack at times when there are important things to do. But I guess they'll just all come to pass. Or I'll just have to learn to deal with them. Like the way I eventually learn to deal with everything else that come my way.

I am missing BEFORE even more.

Commuter Chronicles

2006-03-15T10:24:00.000-08:00

Reaching home past midnight on a regular school night is but common to a wandering commuter. Yes, that is what I have decided to call myself just 4 seconds ago. Wandering commuter. Adds some mystery and adventure to a seemingly ordinary "occupation", doesn't it?

But being a wandering commuter IS an occupation in itself. Sa hirap ba naman ng pagcocommute, dapat binabayaran ka talaga sa paggawa nun! Lalo na pag umuulan...o di kaya naman pag magcocommute ka ng maysakit ka (na kakagawa ko lang kahapon. buti na lang andun si jules. tenks dear.)... o pag super siksikan sa bus na sasakyan mo papunta sa paroroonan mo...at marami pang ibang instances.

Pero kadalasan keri ren naman ang pagcocommute. Marami pa ngang interesanteng na-e-encounter dahil dun. Mga taong alam mong dun sa jeep mo lang na yun makikita ever sa buhay mo, o di kaya naman ang kabaligtaran nito, taong alam mong di mo lang dun makikita. Mga amusing na conversations ng mga magkakaibigan, mga sana-invisible-na-lang-ako moments habang nagaaway ang magsyota sa harap mo sa loob ng MRT, nakakaendear na paghele ng ama sa kanyang sanggol na anak, pagtulog ng katabi mo ng nakabuka ang bibig...matutunghayan lamang habang napapalipat-lipat sa iba't ibang sasakyan. Madalas nakakapag-aral pa nga ako habang nagcocommute e. Isang oras din yun ng pagbabasa ng libro! At shempre, nakakapagmuni-muni ako...tungkol sa mga pangyayari ng araw na nagdaan, sa mga plano ko sa hinaharap, sa mga ikinasisiya ko at ikinalulungkot, sa mga gagawin pagdating sa bahay, at pati na rin sa panghuhula ng ulam na aabutan kong nakahain sa mesa....

Dami ko na ring napuntahan dahil ako'y nagcocommute. Naalala ko, inauguration ng aking official commuting days ay noong ako'y nasa first year high school at may party sa school. First time kong magcocommute, kasi first time na permanenteng nawalan na ng maghahatid at magsusundo saken kung saan-saan. E alangan namang habambuhay na akong maburo sa bahay dahil wala lang maghahatid saken di ba? So nagdesisyon akong magcommute. At simula noon, kung saan-saang lupalop na ako nakarating. Kahit nga mga lugar na di ko pa napupuntahan date, nararating ko mag-isa basta commutable ang lugar. Keri naman ang lahat ng bagay kung marunong magtanong at may matinong sense of direction. Sabi nga ni Desh, para raw akong walking compass sa lakas ng pakiramdam ko pagdating sa tamang direksyon na patutunguhan...naisip ko lang, sana ganun din talaga ako kagaling pagdating sa tunay na life, ano? Hehe.

*****

Dapat natutulog na ako. Actually, dapat nag-aaral na ako dahil may exam ako bukas. Este mamaya na pala yun. Mamayang 6 na siguro ako mag-aaral. Kaya lang wala pa rin palang tribute. Shempre uunahin ko yun, higher utility eh. So ang hierarchy ko: 1) tribute; 2) tulog; and 3) exam. Talaga nga naman, gagraduate na lang ako wala pa ring pagbabago sa priorities ko, tsk, tsk.

Sana Lahat na lang Tayo may Marka sa Noo

2006-03-08T10:16:00.000-08:00

Ang kulit ng YM. Mabuhay talaga ang nakaimbento niyan. Andame kasing interesanteng napag-uusapan dahil sa YM e. Tulad ng talakayang ugat ng pamagat ng blog entry na 'to.

Sana Lahat na lang Tayo may Marka sa Noo. Ang marka sa noo na yan kasi ay signal kung may gusto ko ba sa isang tao o wala. Pag may gusto sayo ang isang tao, may lalabas na natatanging marka sa noo na nagpapahiwatig nun. Kung ano ang markang iyon, di na namin napagdebatihan sa aming talakayan. Pero basta marka sha. Sana star na lang para oks sa akin, peyborit ko yun e. Wag lang cross dahil parang Ash Wednesday. At wag lang numero dahil parang the Frighteners, nakakatakot naman yun kung ganun. Sabi ko nga wag na lang marka sa noo, sana tipong may kakaibang "glow" na lang yung tao, para di naman super kakaiba. Pero kakaiba rin pala yung "glow" lang mismo kung iisipin mo.

Pero seryoso, sana nga lahat na lang may marka sa noo. Para mas madali para sa lahat ng tao. Wala nang pakiramdaman, wala nang panghuhula, wala nang mga pagtangis na di naman pala kinakailangan, at wala nang mashadong oras na maaaksaya. Dun sha sa gusto niya. Dun ka sa may gusto sayo. O di naman kaya pag susuwertihin, kayong dalawa pala ay may gusto sa isa't isa, e di dyan na nga kayo! Perpektong impormasyon, parang assumptions sa Econ. Para efficient ang "market". Haha.

*****

Dapat pala lagi akong nagsusulat ng tulad ng huling post ko e. Para naman tinatamaan at ang mga tao at gumagawa ng kaukulang aksiyon. Tingnan mo, sabi ko sayo e...wala namang mawawala sayo. Ayan, buong gabi ka nang nakangiti ngayon tuloy, haha! Ang kyut mo! Bwahaha! Kung di ka nakinig saken, wala, walang nangyaring kasiya-siya. Tulog ka lang siguro ngayon, pinapanaginipan kung ano yung mga dapat mong ginawa imbis na kung ano yung mga nangyare pagkatapos mog gawin ang mga yun. Hahaha. Sana naman makatulog ka, ha? Baka naman parang naka-prozac ka na sa sobrang saya niyan. Hehe. Pero I'm happy for you dude. Meron pa ngang mga lalaking tulad mo. Idol. Baw.

*****

In fairness to you, my textmate-during-the-bus-ride-home. Dahil sa mensahe mo, ako'y nabatukan at natauhan. Ikaw lang ang nakagawa nun. Mabuhay ka! At tama ka nga...pero pwede ko namang hintayin e? Hahaha, joke lang, baka batukan mo na ako ng totoo niyan e, hehe.

*****

Ang mga huling titik na iiwanan ko sa inyo ay mga linya mula sa kanta ng "the great" Donna Cruz:

Kapag tumibok ang puso
Wala ka nang magagawa kundi sundin ito
Kapag tumibok ang puso
LAGOT KA NA (!!!)

Bwahahahaha!

Hango mula sa isa sa mga commnews sa opisyal na publikasyon ng org ko. Ang totoo e, astig. Kaya hiniram ko.

Live Up to It

2006-03-05T00:54:00.000-08:00

Go for it. Do not be afraid to bleed. It only proves that you are indeed human. And that bravery is not a characteristic extinct from your kind. Do not think about distance or age or any of the crap that people give out as reasons to do nothing. They are just that, just REASONS, barriers made by your mind, barriers that can easily be torn down by the very same mind that created them. That is, if you decide to tear them down. You see, it is all up to you. You were born with that wonderful birthright in a society which graciously reinforces it. So act now and put that privelege to good use. The worst that might happen is you having to go to the pub to drink beer with with your friends in order to bask in the pain of rejection and the seemingly deadly shame creeping up your spine. It's not much of a loss though, since the event proved that you have great friends and that seemingly deadly feeling of shame is just that --seemingly deadly. You'll survive and you'll be ready to face another day. And you'll have something to charge to your experience. If you're not up to that, then give up your right. There are many others not born with it who are very eager to take it from you. If you're too scared to act upon it, you probably don't deserve it anyway. Hand it over then. So that things can actually start happening in this world.

Tila Kiti-Kiting Hindi Mapakali

2006-02-25T06:40:00.000-08:00

Hindi ako mapakali

There's this constant, nagging urge for me to scream the shrillest scream I can come up with, just to release the balled up anxiety inside me.

Para akong kiti-kiti

Though not evidently seen through my actions, it definitely feels like that inside.

Ikaw kasi

Among other things, that is. Though you really don't have any active contribution to this.

Ako kasi

Experience should have taught me well already. Slow learner.

That Unbearable Lightness of Being

2006-02-23T08:12:00.000-08:00

My life, as I see it, is something that may be, in essence, taken out of the pages of Milan Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being: just plain routinary. Everything just seems to be lacking of essence. What used to mean a lot has lost its magic. What used to be a matter of utter importance can now be put aside for other activities. Things done over and over again have reached a saturation point and has finally been overdone. And with the sluggishness and uneasiness this brings the inner self, it is indeed unbearable.

When shall a fresh infusion of passion and inspiration wake me from this stagnant state of being? I do hope it would be sometime soon.

Negative Externality

2006-02-19T08:02:00.000-08:00

How can something that started out to be so good turned out to be so bad? Well, for me, bad for me. Is there really a limit to the high-eqness one gets from something?

The automatic response to such negative externalities is simple: get rid of them.

But sadly, it's not as simple as it seems.

Don't Poke me with a Stick

2006-02-19T07:24:00.000-08:00

Don't poke me with a stick. It isn't an effective means of getting my attention. Don't give me that cold glare. It does not get any positive message across. Don't say those words to my face. Sticks and stones can hurt my bones but those can't. Once upon a time they did but they no longer do. That's what you call environmental conditioning. So don't you dare preach to me about how bad I am and how, subconsciously you say how good you are. Again, let us the remember the concept of environmental conditioning. Your surroundings make who you are. And that doesn't produce an untainted reflection of you. So I suggest you take a quick look at yourself first before you go and direct all your efforts to giving me a hard time all day long.

Accumulated Thoughts

2006-02-18T09:41:00.000-08:00

I went home with 1/3 of BC (the meaning of the initials is purposefully left out. amin na lang yun, haha.) last Thursday. As usual, kwento-kwento, kulitan, and chikahan. I just realized that I get to say a whole lot of things I wouldn't normally share that easily and naturally with anyone when I'm with them. They take a lot of load off my shoulders. And they make me laugh and smile. And we have Mcdo moments together. And we have shared low and high eq moments. And these we experienced because we happened to have the same route home. MRT-HI-WAY jeep + MRT. And when, in two months I find my new route to and from whichever company it is I am working for, I shall miss them so.

I am so sentimental.

*****

Sometimes when you feel as if life gets the better of you, think that most of the time you get the better off life.

*****

There's a fine, fine line between love and a waste of time... -- Avenue Q

*****

Seeing you come into that doorway is the highlight of my day.

*****

I am finally discovering the wonders of the music world. Currently addicted to Gin Blossoms. Permanently addicted to Dishwalla. Consequently looking for other groups to get addicted too. Loving the crazy soundtrack of Avenue Q. I want an iPod.

*****

Glad to get at least some this off my head.

Caliraya

2006-02-18T08:57:00.000-08:00

Caliraya was picture perfect. And the effect it had on my stressed out, sleepless, state! Beautiful, picturesque landscapes possess such calming qualities. I even got a chance to swim in the middle of a deep lake like Danielle on Ever After. Closing my eyes, my body facing the heavens, I just allowed myself to be bouyed by the water, the gentle current rocking me back and forth, back and forth...*sighs*

Sometimes the best things in life can be experienced for P300.

Close to You

2006-02-18T08:39:00.000-08:00

Oh why don't you smile my only star
Shine on baby
Smile, my only star
Smile, my only star

Such a high EQ, feel-good movie, that Close to You. And I thought I watched it for John Lloyd's sake. But no, I ended up becoming a Sam Milby fan for a night! I am such a sucker for singers. And musicians. And good-looking, charming guys. But John Lloyd's character's okay too. Sweet and martir ever...which I actually find endearing (*asus KE. hahaha*). I found myself actually wishing I had Bea's problem: choosing between two great guys. Not much of a problem really...It would be hard but then again, I'm sure to be happy in the end, haha. Para maiba naman.

V-day

2006-02-13T09:15:00.000-08:00

I love chocolates. Eating some right now. Woohoo, ultimate high eq food! :D Surely one of the better perks of Valentine's Day.

*****

Everyone seems to be looking for a girlfriend/boyfriend. At nasabi ko ito dahil kanina nagulat na lang ako nang ang aking sinabayan pauwi ay biglang nagremark: "Sa music lang lahat napupunta ang pera ko. Kaya kailangan ko na talaga magkaroon ng girlfriend." In fairness, nasurprise talaga ako, ah. He was not the type to go on remarking about things like that. Hahaha. It must be the V-day bug.

*****

I love my friends. Haha, alam kong alam niyo naman pero i-p-post ko na ren dito. I love she-who-went-to-econ-a-while-ago-to-cheer-me-up. And she brought my unofficial favorite barkada boyfriend with her. Haha! The flower delivery thing really cheered me up a while ago. And the ride home. And Globe Unlimitxt. Hahaha. Kahit na angtagal mong maactivate, keri lang.

What started out to be just another bad day turned out to be quite a good one in the end. Things like this bring me much needed hope.

*****

Fun, fun, fun tomorrow! Everytime naman eh. Looking forward to a great day!

*****

Sometimes you think you want something but when the time comes that you actually have the chance to get whatever it is you want, you suddenly realize it is not it that you wanted but the concept of it. So you once again trudge along and find whatever it is you are looking for, without any clue of what it actually is.

Life is one big trial-and-error thing.

*****

Okay, huling chocolate ko na pagkatapos nito. Tapos matutulog na ako. May breakfast pa bukas, whee!!!

Free Writing

2006-02-12T05:59:00.000-08:00

Sabi nila okay daw magfree writing na lang pag wala ka naman talagang gustong isulat in particular e...kaya yung na lang ang gagawin ko ngayon.

Tapos na thesis first draft. Sleep at long last. it's fun to bum around the entire day. And not do anything you have to do. UP Fair Week!!! 50 First Days on HBO. Tinatamad akong magdrowing...pero kailangan. Jog na jog na ako bukas. Oh no, case naman. Hay. Play on friday! Chad Michael Murray on A Cinderella Story is gwapo. Independence may become a liability. Mabuhay ang Globe at ang unlimitext! I am a convert, haha. Sabi ng pari kanina sa misa we may have leprosy of the heart...hmmm...feeling ko...haha, whatever. Time is flying fast. Nakakatamad talaga minsan. Rocky mountain, rocky mountain, rocky mountain high! When you're on that rocky mountain...blah,blah,blah...Ms. Agondez and first year high school. Screaming my heart out to prove a theory, haha. And almost getting a C in deportment for it. What can I do? I am a curious kid. Haha. Sabi ko nga go ahead na. High EQ pic from Maggie. Hahaha. Pansin ko puro hahaha ako. Di lang dito, pati sa text messages. Is it my expression then? I don't know. Hahaha. I guess so. Hahaha. Babuu na. Hahaha. Free write kung free write e.

Drew's Night Out

2006-02-07T10:16:00.000-08:00

Can't believe it. Three days before our first draft thesis deadline and we went out. To attend the Econ Vice Night. And that's officially with just seven pages of thesis to submit so far. Woohoo! Talk about unwinding. Even if you're what to unwind about is not yet over. Good thing I sober up fast. Thank you Jules for that. Kahit na nadapa ako dahil sa kagagawan mo! Oh, the shame. Panget ka talaga. Hahaha! But then again my TP's still there when I left. But then again, where he'd be going home to is way nearer than mine. Kamusta naman tayo TP?! Hahaha! Not to worry, I am going to write a part of out thesis tonight. Correction, I am going to write part of our thesis this morning. So I better be ending this blog entry right now, noh? Hay.

Feeling ko pagsisisihan ko ang pag-c-cram kong ito in the near future. Among other things.

Oh, Great!

2006-02-05T05:40:00.000-08:00

I. CANNOT. WRITE.

Superb timing, isn't it?

Grrr...