Marriage Out of Wedlock

I'm in the middle of making a quotation and I stop. I suddenly think along the existential lines and ask why I am doing what I am currently doing. Do I even like what I am doing? Do i find fulfillment in it?

In college I used to spend most of my time in school, even Saturdays and Sundays. But back then I was sure I liked what I was doing. No, it wasn't even like... it was LOVE. I had a purpose and I consciously chose to pursue it. I remember 'it" fueling me everyday, the drive enabling me to accomplish things I never thought I could get done.

Now, as I type away in front of this computer screen which has been witness to my days, and nights, and even weekends at times (seriously my dear PC set, even if you are just a bunch of inanimate objects, I thank you for being ever-functional), I feel numb. To stress. To pressure. To unreasonable demands. To questionable actions. To social interactions (or lack thereof). To frustrations. To commitments. To them all.

Why do I do what I'm currently doing? Because it is what I've committed myself to do at this point in time. And commitments must be kept. You have to make it work, no matter what.