Retroinspection

Certain realizations came up as the day went by. That I am really coming out of my shell (that's quoting someone). That I've been very guarded about a lot of things for more than a year already. And that I think I'm ready to let my guard down and start being more of my old self. That I'd really want for things to turn out okay for everyone and with everyone. That I am still somehow haunted by things that have happened in the past. And that I'd want for the ghosts to leave me permanently. That I'd like to rebuild relationships. And that I'll start doing so on Monday. That I'd like to be happy all the time. And I'd like everyone else to be happy all the time. That I've developed a certain defense mechanism that keeps me from hurting. And yet at the same time prevents me from really, really feeling. That I'd really, really, really miss all the Econ people. And that I miss most of them already. That I super duper love my college friends. And that they have a special place in my heart which can never be replaced. That people get a dose of something unanticipated and overwhelming and nice at the same time. And that I got my dose just this afternoon.