Around and Around and Around I Go...

In between emailing my litfolio contribution to the ed-in-cheif of our org's paper and chatting on YM with one of my closest friends, I realize that I AM TIRED OF MY LIFE. At this moment, I just feel like dropping everything, packing my stuff, and flying off to somewhere far away and new where nobody knows me. Oh yes, that would be nice. No more papers. No more thesis. No more orgwork. Everything old must go...and on to the NEW and EXCITING stuff!!!

Hmm, let's see...I fly off to....HAWAII and begin my new life as a surfer chick! Think Kate Bosworth on Blue Crush. I'd change my name to Lala, dye my hair blonde, work hard to get a hot bod, and after doing so, get the natives who have been surfing all their lives to teach me how to ride the waves. I'd spend my free time on the beach, surfing, swimming, getting a tan and perfecting my surfer moves. My hair would be bleached by the sun and the saltwater but I wouldn't mind. Because I'm a surfer girl. It's part of who I am.

It's just that the fact suddenly popped inside my head: I AM BORED. I mean, I've been doing a lot of things at the same time, maintaining a juggling act since forever... and that's it. That's all I ever do. I've never done anything out of the ordinary. Like go on an impromptu hiking trip one weekend or ride a bus to some province without any clear cut destination and itinerary. I haven't even been able to stargaze in the UP Observatory for crying out loud!!! And that's something that I've been meaning to do ever since I set foot on my beloved university! And it's because I'm always busy with the usual stuff I HAVE to do, which, at this point in my entry, has lost all the meaning they have possessed in the past and has become mere mundane obligations that I have to stick out to through and through because not doing so would be a violation of the "commandments" I set for myself to follow. Trapped by my own doing, how ironic. And thus, we are led back to the topic sentence: I AM TIRED WITH MY LIFE.

It's scary that everything's cyclical. There seems to be no escape.