Around and Around and Around I Go...

In between emailing my litfolio contribution to the ed-in-cheif of our org's paper and chatting on YM with one of my closest friends, I realize that I AM TIRED OF MY LIFE. At this moment, I just feel like dropping everything, packing my stuff, and flying off to somewhere far away and new where nobody knows me. Oh yes, that would be nice. No more papers. No more thesis. No more orgwork. Everything old must go...and on to the NEW and EXCITING stuff!!!

Hmm, let's see...I fly off to....HAWAII and begin my new life as a surfer chick! Think Kate Bosworth on Blue Crush. I'd change my name to Lala, dye my hair blonde, work hard to get a hot bod, and after doing so, get the natives who have been surfing all their lives to teach me how to ride the waves. I'd spend my free time on the beach, surfing, swimming, getting a tan and perfecting my surfer moves. My hair would be bleached by the sun and the saltwater but I wouldn't mind. Because I'm a surfer girl. It's part of who I am.

It's just that the fact suddenly popped inside my head: I AM BORED. I mean, I've been doing a lot of things at the same time, maintaining a juggling act since forever... and that's it. That's all I ever do. I've never done anything out of the ordinary. Like go on an impromptu hiking trip one weekend or ride a bus to some province without any clear cut destination and itinerary. I haven't even been able to stargaze in the UP Observatory for crying out loud!!! And that's something that I've been meaning to do ever since I set foot on my beloved university! And it's because I'm always busy with the usual stuff I HAVE to do, which, at this point in my entry, has lost all the meaning they have possessed in the past and has become mere mundane obligations that I have to stick out to through and through because not doing so would be a violation of the "commandments" I set for myself to follow. Trapped by my own doing, how ironic. And thus, we are led back to the topic sentence: I AM TIRED WITH MY LIFE.

It's scary that everything's cyclical. There seems to be no escape.

Spring Cleaning

I will follow along the "blogsteps" of my friend -- I shall declutter.

*I don't like you right now. Why? Because you have a way of making things more complicated even if they're really not. Snap. Out. Of. It. Parang awa mo na.

*Naiyak ako sa post mo. *HUG*

*You are the-one-I've-been-meaning-to-talk-to since forever. I've rediscovered you at last.

*I'm surprised. You know me better than I know myself. That's why you're my favorite.

*I am intrigued by you. And at times worried by you because it seems like you have a lot of pent-up feelings inside which needs release. Kung kailangan mo ng kausap, andito lang ako.

*Haha, isa ka talagang source of joy! Looking forward to Feb tuloy, hehehe. Sana nga matuloy. :D

Happy! Sha la la la!

Hahahahahahaha! :D I consider myself such a happy person nowadays. I don't know why exactly but I feel happy. Maybe it's the jogging? Or spending a lot of time with my friends? Or Letti and MJ? Or Doyti's birthday party yesterday (which was super fun)? Or perhaps my pretty-in-pink jogging attire last Monday (complete with pink cap and all)? Oh well, I don't have to know the reason anyway.

*****

Kagabi, narealize ko ang level ng kakulitan naming magkakaibigan. At isa itong way, way, way to-the-NEXt level ng ka-next-level-an! Hahaha! Always riot talaga pag kami ang magkakasama! Walang pinipiling oras at lugar talaga e. Yesterday, dahil naunahan na kami sa magic sing, we found a way to amuse ourselves: nag-impromptu couples' dating game kami! Hahaha, ang saya! Wala na lang nagawa ang mga boyfriend ng mga friends namin eh. Buti na lang mababait sila at game (o, Martin, Migs...bawi na ako sa inyo ha!hehe.). Riot talaga forever! Hay nako friends, mahal ko talaga kayo kahit baliw kayo. O sige na nga, kahit baliw tayo! Hehehe :D

*****

Kanina nung pauwi ako, may nakasabay ako sa jeep na matanda. Isa shang lolo na. Bigla niya akong kinausap at nagpakilala sha. Sha raw si Lolo Manuel. At nagpakilala ren naman ako. Nagkwento sha tungkol sa iba't ibang bagay. Sabi niya napansin niya na puro raw kami bata na nakasakay doon sa jeep. Ang tanda na raw niya, 85 na, malapit nang mamatay. Pero okay lang naman din daw dahil handa na raw shang mamatay.

Ang galing niya kaya. Handa na shang mamatay. Ang hirap nun, ah. Maghanda nga para sa exam mahirap, pano pa kaya kung sa kamatayan?! Sabagay,kung iisipin natin, parang exam naman din ang buhay. At finals ang kamatayan (and vice-versa, hehe).

Nung andun na kami sa bababaan namin, nagpaalam na kami sa isa't isa. Tinanong niya ulit yung pangalan ko tas may winish sha para sa akin at ipagdadasal daw niya na magkatotoo yung wish niya na yun.

*Sana malakas sha kay Lord. :D*

Yung pag-uusap naming yun nga ata ni Lolo Manuel ang highlight ng araw ko e. Ang refreshing, nakakatuwa. Namimiss ko tuloy lola ko.

May gusto ako...

*****
...sayo.

Hindi, joke lang.

Hindi joke lang.

The difference a comma can make, noh?

E may mag-iba kaya pag sinabi ko yan sayo?

Feeling ko wala naman dahil tulad ng dati, iisipin mo joke ko lang nanaman 'to.

*****

...Gusto ko ng sandalan. As in as defined by the 6cyclemind song.

*****

...yung chocolates na padala ni Lia!!! :D Super sarap! Tequila Shots da best! Thanks Lia! :D

*****

...bow. The end.

Reminds me of...

It's 2 a.m. and I'm still full of energy. I know I should sleep but I still don't want to. Endorphins do make people happy. But this is a case of more than just a sudden hormonal rush.

You're really lovely underneath it all
You want to love me underneath it all
I'm really lucky underneath it all
I'm really lucky

--Underneath It All by No Doubt

Reminds me of summer and of someone, of PI and Sir Nilo Ocampo and his delicious Maria Clara wine

Would you look at her she looks at me
She's got me thinking about her constantly
But she don't know how I feel
She carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she'll figure it out
I'm crazy for this girl

-- Crazy for this Girl, by Evan and Jaron

Reminds me of having big crushes and stalking and Mae, na isang mala-diyosa sa kagandahan at sa kabuuan na ren kong kaibigan

How can I find something that two can take?
Without stumbling as we walk to our future's wake
I'm like a broken record that you can play
Repeating as if it matters everything I want to say
I'll be alright
As long as it matters
As long as you're here with me now

-- As Long as It Matters, by Gin Blossoms

Reminds me of Paula and the super nice compilation she gave me, of sweetness, of thoughtfulness, and of the type of songs I like in general


Okay, on second thought, I'm getting sleepy. Endorphins get sleepy too, i suppose.

P.S.

*****

You overwhelm me. But please, don't let me get used to it. I easily get addicted to startling, sweet, sincere things. And it's hard to kick a habit.

*****

Retroinspection

Certain realizations came up as the day went by. That I am really coming out of my shell (that's quoting someone). That I've been very guarded about a lot of things for more than a year already. And that I think I'm ready to let my guard down and start being more of my old self. That I'd really want for things to turn out okay for everyone and with everyone. That I am still somehow haunted by things that have happened in the past. And that I'd want for the ghosts to leave me permanently. That I'd like to rebuild relationships. And that I'll start doing so on Monday. That I'd like to be happy all the time. And I'd like everyone else to be happy all the time. That I've developed a certain defense mechanism that keeps me from hurting. And yet at the same time prevents me from really, really feeling. That I'd really, really, really miss all the Econ people. And that I miss most of them already. That I super duper love my college friends. And that they have a special place in my heart which can never be replaced. That people get a dose of something unanticipated and overwhelming and nice at the same time. And that I got my dose just this afternoon.

Todo Bonding Seminar (TBS!)

Oh yeah! TBS was so fun! Next level! Congrats to Anika and Enteng! Good job! :D

*****

Sana may swimming pool kami sa bahay. Okay na exercise e. Siguro lagi ako nag-s-swim kung may swimming pool dito. Tama si Ian e, better than jogging. (Plus I'll have a valid excuse to buy more swimsuits, hehehe. ;p)

*****

I am loving Dennis. He is so supportive of my cause (the one with the March 11 deadline, hehe.) And Aries too. Supportive people. And Maggie, my insipiring jogging pacer (nakakabuo talaga ako ng oval pag sha kasama ko mag-jog). I will not fail you, friends. Hahaha! :p Promise, by planning sem talaga, handa na ako! Hahaha!

*****

Bigla ko tuloy namiss ang mga tao. I miss Anika. Anna Mat. Nicci. Claire. Arvon. Mike B. Jances. Pia. Baby Ian. And I realize I am enumerating everyone who attended the TBS this afternoon. In fairness, namiss kong makasama ng totoo ang mga tao. Great activity talaga, that last one. Naisip ko tuloy na parang na-t-take for granted ko yung mga taong nakikita ko sa araw-araw na nasa school ako. I just see them but I don't really get to talk to most of them. Lalo na yung mga taong talagang nagkaron naman kayo ng bonding moments before. Nakakamiss. I shall exert more effort in spending more real, quality bonding time with econ people. Grabe Teng and Anika, ang effective ng TBS ninyo! Magka-YM kami ni Nicci ngayon at pareho naming namimiss ang isa't isa at ang lahat ng tao sa TBS kanina, hahaha! E kanina lang naman uli na kami nagkita at nagkausap ng matino! At pareho kaming feeling naging mas close sa mga tao kanina sa TBS! Ang 15 seconds face-to-face activity ay isang hit. Kudos to Ajean and her latigo for conceptualizing the activity. Hahaha! Dalawang oras ito pero ayos lang. Astig talaga. Totoong TBS ito. Ang galeng. :D

Syet, I'll super miss Ecosoc talaga pag-graduate.

The Chronicles of Galleria

Narnia was nice. I was enticed to read the books. I am going to read them. Peter was GWAPO! Reminds me of Prince William. And his brother in the movie, Edmund, reminds me of Prince Harry. Lucy is my favorite. But Santa was certainly a surprise. Watching Narnia made me realize the sorry state of the Philippine movie industry. All the filmfest entries were indeed crappy, tsk, tsk.

I love Galle! I bought another something...it's red and it's just a hundred and fifty bucks! Woohoo!!! Super duper bargain! Buti na lang joey spotted it for me! Now I have even more motivation to lose weight. ;p

I want to watch Don't Give Up on Us. Piolo!!!

I want to go back to Galle and buy the pink one too. If next week it's still there, we are meant to be.

You friends you!!! Hinawa niyo ako sa shopping! Hayayay... pero oks lang, enjoy naman e. Hehehe... :D

Non! Je ne suis pas etudiante! (edited)

Non! Non! Non! Je ne suis pas etudiante! Non les livres! Non ecole! Non le professeur de francais! Au revoir les livres! Bonsoir les livres! Je ne suis pas etudiante de francaise! Oui regarde television! Je ne suis pas etudiante!!!


Translation: No! No! No! I am not a student! No books! No school! No French professor! Good bye books! Good night books! I am not a French student! Yes watch television! I am not a student!!!

...although i think there would be a few grammatical errors, since I still refuse to review for my French exam and I am still insisting on not being a student of French and I am rallying against books (or in this case a photocopied version of our French for beginners manual, the Forum).

Hmm...I think I should study.

Bonsoir amigos and amigas!

(See, I really need to study.) ;D

Poising Myself for a Paper

I'm taking a well-deserved internet break. I've been reading stuff I've researched since after lunch (well, I took an afternoon nap too) and I just thought of reading my favorite blogs and checking mail and friendster, my usual online routine.

I am loving the Harvard Business Review. Their articles are so informative and well-written, I actually like reading them (even if they could get long). I liked them so much I even thought of reading at least one article a week from now on. Though it would probably have a slim probability of happening as serious thesis research looms near.

One realization in making this paper: I am really, truly more of a BA person rather than an Econ one.

At least I have that one totally clear.

I should probably start my paper.

Nonsense

Here I post again. Dahil hindi ako mapakali. Gusto ko nang manood ng The OC. Dapat pala inuwi ko na lang yung Undomesticated Goddess. Inaantok na ako pero na-a-agit ako e. Di ako makatulog. Ang tamad ko. Ang sakit sa ulo ng BA paper. Finale na ng Tru Calling. I like Mark Ruffalo. Kelvin is my supplier. I am hating quarterly data. Girlaloo effect. Wala pa akong UL Birthday outfit for tomorrow. Bigla akong nawalan ng gana. Follow your heart or owe up to your part. Harvard Business Reviews are sooo informative. I love the Vinzsons photocopiers. Magbasa na lang kaya ako ng fanfic? Harry-Ginny ship! I love my new shoes. I hope those chocolate brown wedges are still there when I go back for them. I need acetone. I'm going on monotone. Excitement is absent. Requirements are present. All strategy is local is my paper topic. I'm tired. Of what? Of...WHAT?! I want to watch Blue Moon and see Crisel's cameo. And Dennis Trillo too. Oreos. Fita. Magic Flakes. Oreos again. Dark chocolate. Dinner.

One-Liner

*****

Gumuho ang paniniwala ko. Dahil naniwala ako sayo.

*****

Scrubs Rubs

I love watching Scrubs. And I know a lot of other people who do too. I love the format of the show. Sabi nga ng isang friend ko, kung ganun ba naman lang talaga ang gawain ng doktor, aba, magdodoktor na lang daw sha. Pero beyond the light and humorous feel of the show, kitang-kita mo pa ren yung gravity ng ginagawa nila e, the pressures they deal with, yung hirap ng pagbreak ng bad news sa pamilya ng pasyente, atbp. Pero makikita mo na masarap ren yung ginagawa nila.

Syet, gusto ko uli talaga maging doktor pag nakakanood ako nito.

Hay.

YM Strikes Again

My YM Status: Art, nalalabuan ako sayo.

cjec2: ke, sinong art? :D heheheh la lang, nangintriga lang :D
cjec2: ahihihi

Okay non-BE friends, bago kayo kiligin, I'm going to burst your bubble na. Si ART ay professor namin sa BA190. As in ARTuro Ilano. At nalalabuan ako sa instructions niya sa paper na pinapagawa niya sa amin na ni-re-research ko ngayon.

Wish ko lang boylet yan.

On second thought, kung malabo lang rin shang boylet, di na lang pala bale.

...pagkatapos mapaliwanagan ni stella si cjec2...

cjec2: ah okie :D
cjec2: yup2... :D
cjec2: mga panahong ganito kase bangag mga tao..kadalasan senti time..heheheh
cjec2: :D (emoticon laughing)

Ako ren tuloy natatawa... Bwahahaha!